SUPERMAN IV
A film review by Mark Rosenzweig
Copyright 1987 Mark Rosenzweig
This has got to be the worst movie I've blown five bucks on in a very long time. Parts of it were, however, so bad that they were funny (Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane - it's a statue! ).
It did seem to have a remarkable number of flaws for a big budget movie:
* What did Mariel Hemingway breathe in outer space?
* Why did Superman's cape flap in outer space (solar wind, perhaps)?
* How can it be daytime in Metropolis and China at the same time?
* When did Superman acquire mortar-vision, used to rebuild stone walls?
* Aren't there disastrous effects (weather, tides) from moving the moon?
* Did Superman really forget to put the moon back?
* Why doesn't Nuclear-man look like Superman, since he was created from
Superman's genetic material?
* Can Superman's hair really be cut with a large wire-cutter?
* How can a subway train continue if the motorman dies?
* When N-man orders S-man to "take me to woman," how does S-man know
he means Mariel Hemingway?
* Do nuclear reactors really have openings to the open sky directly
from their uranium piles?
* The last time S-man visited the UN, he told the little boy to wait
for him in the gallery. So fa a I can tell, he's still waiting.
By the way, after irrelevant scene 1, superman saving Soviet spacecraft, when he hit the baseball in irrelevant scene 2, did anyone else think it was going to hit the spacecraft (Look out Ivan - here we go again!).
All in all, S-man had a lousy week (used up his dad's green thing, violated the prime directive--non-interference--and had nothing to show for it). But seriously, why was the subplot about the Daily Planet takeover in the movie (to make it 2 hours long?)? Why was Mariel Hemingway in the movie (to be a damsel in distress for 18 seconds?)? Chris Reeve did a really lousy job writing this. Why don't they get comic-book writers to write comic book movies?
Well, I needed to complain about it to someone.
-Mark Rosenzweig rosenzw@svax.cs.cornell.edu
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