I'M GONNA GIT YOU, SUCKA
A film review by Mark R. Leeper
Copyright 1989 Mark R. Leeper
[The following review uses frank language to describe the film I'M GONNA GIT YOU, SUCKA. If you feel you may be offended, you may wish not to read the review.]
Shiiiit! Hey, brother, you jiv'n me? I mean I was spectin' this to be one bad-ass film. I mean the way some of the brothers were talkin' this shit was supposed to be like...what was that other thing? Like AIRPLANE! Yeah! Like, man, no way! I mean these muthah-fuckers who made this thing don't got what it takes to cut it. I mean like no-fuckin-how.
Well, shit. Like, it wasn't all bad. Some of it was cool. I mean the story had wha-cha-call possibilities. I mean this dude gets out of the Army to find his brother gold-chained to death. That could happen. Shit, something like that happened to this dude I know. But then this story started messin' around with this big muther-fuckin crime lord called Mr. Big. Now you know and I know no muther-fucker is gonna go anywhere with a name like Mr. Big. Shit. They gonna be more brothers laughin' at him than at fuckin Eddie Murphy.
So, like this dude has one badass mother. I mean like when this bitch gets mad she goes all the way! Anyway, turns out she used to be like the main squeeze of this guy who was like Shaft, only his name was Slade. And like when Slade hears what's been goin' down he starts actin' like the bald guy in that MAGNIFICENT SOMETHING movie. Like, shit, he starts gettin' a bunch of mean brothers together to go in and wipe out this Mr. Big. Well, shit, he gets guys like Isaac Hayes and Jim Brown. And, like there's a bunch of funky shit goin down, like makin' fun of other movies. And that's cool. But there just ain't enough of the funny shit and there ain't enough of the fightin' shit. No way, brother. Now you want to see some good shit, fuck I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA and go see DANGEROUS LIAISONS. Shit.
Mark R. Leeper
att!mtgzz!leeper
leeper@mtgzz.att.com
The review above was posted to the
rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the
review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright
belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due
to ASCII to HTML conversion.
Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews