CYBORG
A film review by Burke Cox
Copyright 1989 Burke Cox
Recipe for CYBORG: Take one cup of CONAN THE BARBARIAN and two pints of MAD MAX and mix in a large container. Slowly add a tablespoon of the TERMINATOR and the slightest dash of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. Blend in poor directing, pitiful acting, and a horrible script and plot. Sit for an hour-and-a-half. Serves: no purpose.
CYBORG is set in a post-destruction earth. Starvation, genocide, and the plague have reduced the earth to an anarchist state. The "few remaining scientists" are nearing a cure for the plague, if only some data can be retrieved from Atlanta. But there are these bad guys, you see, who like the pain and death...
This is undisputedly the worst movie I have paid to see in the last five years (and I've seen some poor movies). The plot was embarrassingly predictable. The script was *terrible*. This is a must-see film for a class on "How *Not* to Write a Script". The dialogue between characters sounded like outtakes of every doom and destruction film produced in the last ten years.
Even the technical parts of this film were bad. The special effects were mediocre. Three minutes after any major wounding of a character, the wounds had healed and a nice neat scar had replaced them. The sound during the fight scenes was off, resulting in a punching sound followed immediately by the punch. The punches and kicks, by the way, were filmed so poorly that you could see as much as a two-foot gap between the fist of the person throwing the punch and the face of the person receiving the punch.
This movie was so bad that it had a four-minute flashback that they showed twice (in its entirety). They had old rusted cars throughout the planet that were smoldering (and had obviously been smoldering for the last ten or twelve years). In places where the special effects were particularly poor, they made the picture blurry to cover up their errors.
I recommend this movie to absolutely no one, not even fans of this type of film. Wait for RED SCORPIONS starring Dolph Lundgren, it looks as though it will be exciting enough to hold you over until the next Schwarzenegger action film. This movie, on the other hand, will do nothing but disappoint you. Rate it a -3.5 on the Leeper scale.
Burke Cox uunet!ingr!b11!burke!burke b11!burke!burke@ingr.com
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