LEATHERFACE:
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III
A Review in the Public Domain
by The Phantom
(baumgart@esquire.dpw.com)
Any film that includes the quote "I'll be in hell for breakfast" can't be all bad. And LEATHERFACE isn't, really, although it certainly isn't all good, either.
On the other hand, the Phantom has been at his wits' end recently. Christmas is always a bad time of year for him, and recently he even resorted to renting SLEEPING BEAUTY again just to see a film -- any film -- that gives him the shivers. (Truthfully, the Phantom has yet to find anyone, himself included, who isn't scared silly by the Evil Queen.)
The Phantom should also point out that he although he is a big fan of the original CHAINSAW, he was rather disappointed with its first sequel. It just seemed to trivialize what should have been a continuation of one of the most terrifying horror films ever made. Even Dennis Hopper, turning in one of his most truly lunatic performances, couldn't save it. So it was with some trepidation that the Phantom purchased his ticket for part 3.
LEATHERFACE arrived last week with quite excellent trailers, and the catch phrase "The most controversial film since..." something or other. The Phantom can't quite remember, because although he, like every other horror fan, heard the rumors about LEATHERFACE's release date being held up pending approval by the MPAA, he has to admit that the film is resolutely ordinary and not in the least controversial. In fact, much of the film plays like the shower scene from SCARFACE, except without Al Pacino's outrageous Cuban accent. That is, although most of the scenes have a violent tone about them, you really see very little. In fact, in the Phantom's opinion LEATHERFACE might even have gotten away with a PG-13, assuming the censors (er, board members) were in a charitable mood that day, and that they somehow came to believe that a film about a family of cannibals and chainsaw-wielders required only "parental guidance."
More surprisingly, although the title and trailers emphasize Leatherface and imply that he's Texas's equivalent of Jason, he's really on screen only about half the time. The other half is occupied by assorted members of his creepy family -- a family, you phans may remember, that has been killed several times over by now. In fact, the connection between this film and its two predecessors is not quite clear (except for the clever real-life connection made by the folks at New Line between a familiar name and the guaranteed box office receipts it will generate). There *is* a brief explanation that scrolls across the screen at the beginning of the film (this explanation is also read aloud, as if in acknowledgment of the likely handicaps of the film's audience), but it serves only as an excuse to get things going; really, it's nothing more than the filmmakers' way of winking at the audience and saying, "We know you like sequels, you know you like sequels... what do you want us to do, come up with an original idea or something?"
The film itself is well directed and edited and is generally suspenseful throughout. It's missing some big payoffs -- and if you expect serious, high-tech, monster gore a la HELLRAISER you'll be disappointed -- but it has enough little payoffs to make up for its lack of serious violence. It even has a few funny moments, although Leatherface will never be another Freddy; since he doesn't speak, he's limited in the kind of material he can do. But he's a little more human than Jason, if that counts for anything. The Phantom also appreciated the feelings of tension and dread the film generated. Although things don't really get cooking (so to speak) until about half way through, the beginning of the film is by no means boring or uneventful, and much of the film is directed in such a way that you never quite know what's going to happen next. (The Phantom must admit, however, that he had his beeper turned on during the film, and that his feelings of tension and dread may therefore have had more to do with that than with the action on screen.)
The plot (sans spoilers, of course) will be familiar to anyone who has seen the original: a handful of happy-go-lucky folks get caught out in the middle of Texas, lose their way or crash their cars or both, and find that the woods hold more than just Smokey the Bear. By the way, those woods have always intrigued the Phantom; in the original CHAINSAW, they didn't really seem out of place, although in LEATHERFACE we go from highway to scrub land to forest awfully quickly. The Phantom blinked and thought the action had shifted to Vermont -- it was only the Texas drawls and the fact that the woods weren't flowing with sap after Leatherface made a few swipes at the trees that made him realize that no one had left the Lone Star state.
They meet up with the first family of Texas (no, not the Bushes) and swing axes, throw rocks, and run away from chainsaws until they finally convene for dinner. In fact, there's quite a bit of walking and running in this film, and there are probably a dozen too many shots of people's legs moving this way and that. (Perhaps the producers were hoping for Reebok or Nike to cosponsor the film, though the only product the Phantom noticed was a can of Diet Pepsi early on. Even the fabled chainsaw was generic! Think of the missed advertising opportunities here -- Leatherface could even do endorsements at local True Value hardware stores nationwide...)
Shortly thereafter some number of them escape (who escapes the Phantom won't reveal, but suffice it to say that anyone who's ever seen a horror film before will be able to guess). Or possibly no one escapes -- the ending is sufficiently dream-like to allow for the five minutes of concentrated implausibility that ends the film and, of course, for the requisite sequel.
That's the Phantom's best guess, anyway. He thinks that dreams must have played an important role in the making of LEATHERFACE, for certainly the producers were under the impression that it might enjoy the mass-market appeal of the original, and for them to think that implies either that they were dreaming or that they never bothered to watch the film themselves.
Still, LEATHERFACE is a fun film and never boring, and especially in this season of post-Christmas letdowns, with no new horror fix in the foreseeable future, it's worth a look before it hits your local Blockbusters. It's a good, solid, horror film that lacks only in the originality and creativity departments. But truthfully, the Phantom doubts that anyone could make a really good sequel to the original CHAINSAW, and while he wasn't surprised that LEATHERFACE did little more than reprise its more effective and more successful predecessor, he will say that it is entertaining enough in its own right to warrant a look.
For those phans who like to take their film reviews with a dose of relativity, the Phantom will say that LEATHERFACE is more enjoyable than either of Jason's or Michael's most recent flicks, and that it is less stupid than SHOCKER (though less original and less fun as well).
But he still likes SLEEPING BEAUTY better....
: The Phantom
: baumgart@esquire.dpw.com
: {cmcl2,uunet}!esquire!baumgart
.
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