BIRD ON A WIRE
[Spoilers]
A film review by Sandy Grossman
Copyright 1990 Sandy Grossman
Reviews of this movie seem to fall into two camps: either the movie is depicted as a See-Mel-Run-and-Hear-Goldie-Scream film ("Summer Camp for the Stars"), or the movie is seen as a nice little action comedy that only reviewers can't appreciate.
Okay, so which is it? Uhm, well, uhm......
You know by now that Mel plays Rick and Goldie plays Marianne. Rick is part of the Federal Witness Protection Program. He testified against some bad guys and has been looking over his shoulder ever since. Marianne is his former sort-of-fiance, who was told that Rick died in a plane crash (part of his cover). She has long since given Rick up for dead, but still carries a picture of him.
At the start of our story, Marianne is headed for Detroit, where Our Hero Mel (oops--Rick) is a service station attendant. So far, so good. Heck, I'm willing to accept that a person who looks like Gibson (oops, Rick) and has an IQ over 45 and has a college education would be a grease monkey at some little station in Detroit, no problem. Like, maybe he's not ambitious. No problem. And I'm perfectly willing to accept the chance meeting that brings Marianne to Rick's door. I mean, life is funny, right? So the basic idea that this story is built on is okay with me. At least up to there.
Now, I don't want to wear an asbestos suit because I don't want to inhale any of those nasty asbestos fibers, so I won't give away too much of the story. Besides, I doubt I could if my life depended on it. Because, you see, no matter how willing you might be at the start of the movie, by the time the movie starts cooking, you have to be very forgiving of the, uhm, plot. And you have to develop a tolerance for Goldie's little screams and big screams, little whines and big whines. And you have to forgive Goldie for playing such a snivelling fool in every movie she's made for the last ten years. As for Mel, well, he does fine, really, but let's just put it this way: This ain't no Hamlet role.
This is a chase movie. There's a period there, folks. If you like chase movies, see this one, because it's snappy and has pretty people to look at and smile at. Lisa somebody-or-other from Entertainment Tonight asked Mel to describe this movie. He said, and I'm quoting him, "It's somewhere to go and sit in the dark and choke on your popcorn." He's got that exactly right. It's not great art and it doesn't try to be.
Even so, I can't help but be disappointed. There's nothing new in this film and no real chemistry between the players. There's no TIME for chemistry--it's one chase after another after another.... Would a little bit of character development really have gotten in the way? In a related vein, could Marianne have had a bit of gumption and solved problems on her own instead of playing helpless? And my biggest gripe with this picture:
WARNING: SPOILERS ON THEIR WAY!!!!!
It's supposed to be a fairly light-hearted romantic comedy with suspense thrown in. What's light-hearted about shooting the romantic lead in the abdomen and the shoulder? What did they think this was, LETHAL WEAPON III? I guess the director and the screenwriter just couldn't resist: "After all, Gibson is so good at playing hurt; he's got the sexiest grimace in town. Let's just shoot him a couple of times, make him bleed all over the place, and then make him okay at the end, whaddya think?"
I think they coulda done better. If I play compare-this-movie, BIRD ON A WIRE doesn't fare well. If I just look at the movie as a separate entity, it's a disappointment. Eh. I'd rather go to a movie that offers something more than a place to sit and choke on my popcorn. But Gibson does look cute with a ponytail....
Sandy Grossmann sandyg@tekirl.labs.tek.com Xref: cbnewsj rec.arts.movies:22078 rec.arts.tv:16510
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