SCENES FROM A MALL
A film review by Scott T. Eggimann
Copyright 1991 Scott T. Eggimann
Capsule Review: A terrible movie about marriage and infidelity. Woody Allen and Bette Midler go to the mall for a quick errand. Instead they take us on a trek of their sixteen-year relationship. There's only so much humor in watching these two people fight. Rating: -3 (-4 to +4); I wouldn't recommend renting this on video, even a free one.
I'm not a big Woody Allen fan, although I did like SLEEPER and TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN. I wasn't hoping for a SLEEPER-quality film, but I was expecting something much better from a "master" such as Allen. SCENES FROM A MALL is a very boring movie. I'll go further than that, this was a terrible movie; stay home and save your money.
This movie has nothing good to say about relationships. Very much like WAR OF THE ROSES, this movie continues on insisting to find something funny about healthy relationships falling apart. It's depressing to see a loving couple married sixteen years fighting. People go to the movies to escape, if your relationship is in trouble you would be better off not to see this film.
This movie was billed as a comedy. If anything I left the theater wanting to ensure that my relationships never get to the sorry state that Nick (Allen) and Deborah (Bette Midler) were in. Couples argue enough in this world, I don't need to pay full movie rates to see them. Not only that, but this show was just under an hour and a half. I counted an hour and twenty minutes, but I was told it was longer than that. Given how short the movie was, it seemed like a three-hour movie.
No plot, no action, no lessons to be learned. Just two people arguing and taking low blows at each other.
I suppose to be fair I should comment on the scenes that were entertaining. Allen walking through a crowded mall with a (s)lime green surf board is funny. Although, this also got boring. The first ten minutes of carrying the board was funny, after that I kept trying to figure out the symbolism of the board. I decided that whoever carred the board was the person trying to put the relationship back together. When the board switched hands, the feelings of both persons changed. When they finally lost the board, the relationship appeared to be back to normal.
Maybe it was just me, but I failed to see much of the humor in the movie. The audience seemed to think that the Santa sled on Allen's roof was pretty funny and again with the twin Saabs in the garage. I was probably so depressed from all the fighting that the humor went right over my head, but I don't think so.
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