FLUBBER (Disney) Directed by Les Mayfield In "The Time Machine," the passive, docile Eloi were lured to their deathes at the paws of the man-eating Morlocks by huge sirens that emerged from the Morlocks' underground lair. Similarly, families are summoned into movie theatres at least twice a year by the almost irresistible call of the Disney marketing machine: How can anyone with children be expected to withstand the non-stop barrage of ads, tie-ins and merchandising that accompanies every major Disney production? To make matters worse, Disney has lately taken to remaking well-remembered titles of the past, such as "101 Dalmatians" and "That Darn Cat," which throws baby-boomer nostalgia into the equation and makes the sales pitch even tougher to resist for the over-30 demographic. "Flubber," for instance, is an update of "The Absent-Minded Professor," the 1961 Fred McMurray comedy about an awkward scientist who discovers a kind of "flying rubber" that allows objects, cars and basketball players to rise to new heights. Changing the title to focus on the substance instead of the man who discovers it is a indicator not only of how "Flubber" differs from its source, but also of what sets these newly minted Disneys apart from the movies that inspired them. "Flubber" features some inspired visual effects and state-of-the-art computer animation, but it's a singularly joyless experience to sit through, as technology once again trumps any kind of human interest. Actually, after "Hook" and "Jumanji," Robin Williams ought to know better than to attach himself to family entertainment, but perhaps after the disaster of "Father's Day" earlier this year, he figured "Flubber" might restore a bit of his luster. Sadly not. Director Les Mayfield has no idea what to do with Williams, aside from reining him in, always the worst way to handle such a volatile talent. Not that Mayfield gets decent performances out of such reputable actors as Marcia Gay Harden or Christopher McDonald either: Almost everyone in the cast seems to realize they're here purely to kill time between special-effects sequences and the tiresome slapsticky antics served up by screenwriter John Hughes. Ever since his grand-slam with the original "Home Alone," Hughes has given up on writing about human beings and concentrated solely on rehashing his biggest hit. "Flubber" is no exception to the rule, as Hughes works in a pair of moronic henchmen (Clancy Brown, Ted Levine) who must endure multiple unfunny pratfalls while trying to steal Flubber. For no reason other than to offer one more reminder of "Home," the bad guys are often observed by a little boy who's a rather obvious clone of Macaulay Culkin, and does a lot of screaming to prove it. Hughes' teen romances of ten years ago ("Pretty in Pink," "Some Kind of Wonderful," etc.) had more depth than his playing out of the love triangle between Williams, Harden and McDonald; to make matters worse, there's also a chatty flying computer on the sidelines who keeps trying to distract Williams from matters of the heart. At one point this horny little love machine conjures up a holographic vixen to seduce the professor, a rather kinky departure for Disney fare, and --needless to say-- an undeveloped idea. Of course, it's doubtful that "Flubber"'s low quality will have much of an effect on its box-office performance: "Jumanji" was every bit as unimaginative and mean-spirited, and it still grossed over $100 million. It's hard not to feel sorry, though, for the too-trusting Moms and Dads who'll round up their broods and trudge to the multiplex to see this piece of product masquerading as a movie. Chances are they'll have a better time looking for a parking space or waiting in line at the concession stand than they will watching "Flubber." James Sanford
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