Glory Daze (*** ½ out of ****)
Let me explain to you this: GLORY DAZE is one of the best films that was released in 1996. Read my lips: "GLORY DAZE, a college-comedy about a group of pals, in the vein of ANIMAL HOUSE, is one of the very best movies of 1996." Is this resinating? Good.
Now before condemning me an idiot who doesn't know a quality film from his own asshole, let me qualify my opinion. What on Earth is so great about this movie?
You have Jack (Ben Affleck), your main character, who ironically describes himself as "happy-go-fucking-lucky as the day I was born" and carries a torch for ex-girlfriend Dina, now dating a white dude who likes to think he's a Rastafarian. Then there's Micky (Vinnie DeRamus), the black comic-strip artist who's "big, clumsy, and never combs his hair." Millions of girls find him sexy, but he's too laid back to give much of a fuck. Even the gorgeous, flirtatious, virginal Chelsea (Alyssa Milano) can't get him off his ass.
Slosh (Vien Hong) is the guy who went from computer-geek to party-animal in less than a year, flunked out of school and is now happier than ever, getting fired from one shitty job after another and spending most of his waking hours drunk as a fuckin' monkey and smoking it up. Dennis ("3rd Rock"'s French Stewart) is a professional student, working on his third degree and quickly becoming the aplle in his photography-teacher's eye.
And last but not least is Rob (Sam Rockwell), who's moving out with his fiancee (Megan Ward), who displays all the traits of a shallow, immature bitch. He doesn't really want to live with her, but he can't think of any other options.
Jack can think of an idea: just stay at El Rancho Grande, their beloved house, and throw more parties and drink more beer. This idea holds up for awhile, but soon comes crumbling down with the film's climactic, "preservation through destruction" scene. This movie kicks ass, in case you don't know.
NoFX, The Vandals, Mudhoney, et al fill the soundtrack. NoFX make the two most indelible contributions: "The Moron Brothers," which includes the line, "they might not go down in history, but they'll go down on your sister"; and "Kill all the White Man," which is particularly funny coming from NoFX's four white dudes.
Also, Vien Hong sings "We Are 21," a hilarious punk ode to coming of age, and Samn Rockwell sings "Dudes of Steel Theme," which has led to me refering to myself as "Romeo-Sid Vicious."
I love this fucking show.
GGG L OOO RRRR Y Y DDDD A ZZZZZ EEEEE G G L O O R R Y Y D D A A Z E G L O O R R Y Y D D A A Z EEE G GG L O O RRRR Y D D AAAAAAA Z E G G L O O R R Y D D A A Z E GGG LLLLL OOO R R Y DDDD A A ZZZZZ EEEEE
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