Iltown (1996)
Seen on 23 January 1998 for $8.75 at the Village East CInemas with Laura, Rob, and Michelle
*Illtown* is possibly the worst movie I have seen since *Excess Baggage.* It started out promisingly, with interesting lighting and a dreamlike quality. Then, the credits came, and that was the end of that.
Yet, I wanted to give it a chance. Laura turned to me and said, "Is this the worst movie you have ever seen?" and I told her, "Ask me in five minutes," but it didn't take that long. Once the vicious drug dealers were hitting the links at the golf course, I gave up.
The plot is hard to follow since there is a lot of jumping back and forth in time. Dante (Michael Rapaport) is a drug dealer who is genuinely in love with his girlfriend Micky (Lili Taylor). Meanwhile, he has an archenemy in Gabriel (Adam Trese) who proceeds to kill most of Dante's drug runners, and then attacks his friends and family, in a typically ultraviolent fashion that we have come to expect in general these days.
Adding to the oddness is Tony Danza as D'Avalon. He seems to be the King of the drug underworld down in Florida, who has a gay lover, or something gay going on. Note the scantily clad men posing like statues on D'Avalon's lawn. Oh, and he "prefers to make his own mulch." His dialogue, and that of so many others, was unbearable. For example:
"He fucked up."
"How?"
"He just fucked up."
My goodness; this is what passes for writing these days?
I usually keep very quiet during the movie, but Illtown was just such an incomprehensible mish-mash of plot and themes, I gave up wondering if it was an allegory, a bad homage to David Lynch, or simply the worst movie I have ever seen. Perhaps there's a reason it has taken so long for it to get released. If you decide you really must see *Illtown,* bear these two things in mind: 1) It's okay to laugh hilariously whenever Tony Danza appears; 2) remember that Micky's deaf little brother symbolizes the audience--he's always trying to run away.
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