Phantoms (1998)
Director: Joe Chappelle Cast: Peter O'Toole, Rose McGowan, Ben Affleck, Liev Schreiber, Joanna Going Rated R: Violence, language
by Nathaniel R. Atcheson (nate@pyramid.net)
When Jennifer and Lisa Pailey (Joanna Going and Rose McGowan) return home to the quiet little town of Snowfield, Colorado, they find the maid dead on the floor. This happens two minutes into the film. Scared, the two women trek around town, finding that the streets are empty and the air silent. Later, they find severed heads, and by this time it is crystal clear that there is a problem. Luckily, they meet up with Sheriff Bryce Hammond (Ben Affleck) and two of his underlings (one of whom is Liev Schreiber, doing his best to act all nervous and crazy and stuff).
While searching through a hotel because of strange music emanating through the building, they find a message written with lipstick on a mirror (in a locked room with no windows, one of the characters notes). The message refers to a certain Dr. Timothy Flyte. With no idea as to what on earth is going on, Hammond calls for help, mentioning the lipstick message in his call. The help shows up with Dr. Flyte (played by Peter O'Toole) to solve the problem.
See, it turns out that there is a big worm that looks like solidified oil; conveniently, it thinks it's Satan. This is a Learning Worm, so it is very smart. I'll leave the rest of the shocking plot developments for you to discover for yourselves.
Although I describe with utmost sarcasm the way Phantoms moves along, I must admit that these silly little plot details are just about the best thing about the film (aside from the cast). I think smart oil is a unique idea for a bad guy, especially in a horror film. Regrettably, the film is bad. It isn't scary, or suspenseful, or even particularly well-crafted. The characters are stale and cardboard-like. Like most of the films that enter this genre, this one has nothing new to offer.
The film begins on the wrong foot, jumping too quickly into action. The two sisters, for example, are given one scene of dialogue before they're confronted with the problem. I guess it's possible to be concerned based solely on the fact that they are the good guys, but in a perfect world I would like to have gotten to know them better before seeing terrified looks on their faces. The same goes for Hammond, although we at least learn a juicy bit of his history. The actors--McGowan, Going, and Affleck--all do what they can with the lack of depth, but they are defeated nonetheless.
And it doesn't help that the characters are stupid. Towards the beginning, they discover the body of a police officer, who has clearly drawn his gun and fired off three rounds. Regardless of this fact, the characters still consider the possibility that they are dealing with a virus. Only O'Toole can project some kind of intelligence, although it should come as no surprise that he is wasted in this role.
Phantoms was directed by Joe Chappelle, who doesn't give off the feeling that he wants to be making this film. Every moment is so standard that I doubt any particular sequence will leave you feeling like you've seen something all new and different. This is an alarming thing to consider, especially when I realize that this is a horror film, intended to scare and shock me. We've all seen films in which the evil force can look human and fool our heroes. Here's yet another film that uses this approach, and nothing new is done with the premise.
If you just have to go out an see a horror film, then I suppose this one isn't any worse than the other slop that's playing right now. I suppose it's moderately fun on a really campy level, especially when we get to see the big oil creature. When I watch a film like this, I just have to wonder if it's really getting so hard to scare people. There isn't a moment in this film that startled the audience with whom I saw it. It simply fails in its prime directive.
>From 0-10: 4 Grade: D
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Nathaniel R. Atcheson
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