"Deep Rising" - Sinking Fast by Homer Yen (c) 1998
If you're the kind of person who goes to see movies just because you long for some of that overpriced theatre popcorn (butter optional), then this is the movie for you! Indeed, this has got to be either one of the most unimaginative rip-offs of other recent action movies, or an incredibly unfunny spoof of them. It's difficult to fathom such insipidness unless you actually watch this film. But at least we're warned very quickly that we may regret our ticket purchase, giving us an opportunity to sneak on out and into the adjacent show.
What are the four ingredients of a really bad action movie? First, the movie gives us an introductory premise. Huge caverns exist deep beneath the ocean floor, and in this area, many ships have disappeared. Oooh...scary! Secondly, a cheesy soundtrack tries to connote a tone of mystery, but only succeeds in drowning our ears with an abrasive musical score. Third, the main character is a mercenary that delivers goods without asking about the contents of his cargo (Treat Williams). He operates a sophisticated military-style PT boat and every word that comes out of his mouth is awash in comical flippancy. Finally, in the cargo hold, we see those that hired him. They are also mercenaries that have tough-looking haircuts, talk with accents, and try to show how macho they are.
During their trip across the stormy sea, their boat suffers an incident and requires repairs. Spotting a cruise ship in the distance, they make their way to the ocean liner and devise a plan to raid the machine shop, take the parts that they need, and then continue on their merry way. Little do they know that this cruise ship has become infested by some kind of ocean monster. Yet, they board the ship armed to the hilt with grenades and machine guns that can kill dozens in a matter of seconds.
This is nothing more than a by-the-book action film. Their realization of the situation that they're in doesn't happen until they are in the bowels of the boat. Those who are dumb enough to stray off on their own will ultimately get killed. The corridors on the ship are narrow, misty, and provide the kind of atmosphere that all scare-fests must have. Yet, despite the predictable nature of this film, there are some scary "boo" moments. But most of it is just outright silly. And this film is unusually gory too. Monsters basically suck off the flesh and spit out skeletal remains. There is one particularly neat scene where a monster has been cut apart and reveals a victim that is still alive. He screams horribly as the monster's digestive juices continue to slowly eat him away. Additionally, it borrows heavily from Speed2, Alien and a bunch of other recent films. The mercenaries even run into a lone, surviving passenger (Femke Jannsen) who looks amazingly like Sandra Bullock.
To be honest, when I left the theatre, I just had to laugh at how witless the film was. It's moronic fun at best. So, if you're hankering for a large bucket of popcorn served with a side of silliness, then this might just hit the spot.
Grade: C-
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