Stargate (1994) * * A movie review by Serdar Yegulalp Copyright 1998 by Serdar Yegulalp
CAPSULE: MST3K fans, rejoice!
I must be on a roll. In one week I've seen two flabbergastingly, tragically stupid SF movies: SPECIES, and now, STARGATE. Too bad GODZILLA hasn't come out yet.
The plot is worthy of at least a pat on the back. A geeky Egyptologist (James Spader) is tapped to crack the code on an ancient machine which appears to be some kind of gateway to other worlds. Sure enough, they get the gate working. But instead of actually THINKING about the situation, the filmmakers just dove right in and threw every cliche they could remember at the story: a military man (Kurt Russell) is assigned to head up the expedition to whatever's on the other side.
What's on the other side? You sitting down? Turns out the sun god Ra has established his dominion there, and commands giant power (which we all know as technology of course, but tell that to his zillions of worshippers/slaves). It's like a grotesque Hollywood version of Church of the SubGenius dogma ("JEHOVAH IS AN ALIEN, AND IS STILL THREATENING THIS PLANET!"), only with no sense of humor. Ra is played by Jaye Davidson and actually fits the part physically, although he's saddled with having his voice digitally mangled in post. It's only a matter of time before we get guns, mayhem, uprisings, and a giant LED timer on an atomic bomb. Sheesh.
It amazes me -- really amazes me beyond language -- how much energy went into a movie this vapid. The effects are seamless. The crowds and sets are convincingly put together and filmed. But somehow, all that energy managed to not be directed into writing and assembling a compelling, *interesting* story about all this stuff. It wouldn't even have to be Oscar-level material -- just something smarter, more knowing and maye even more curious about what's out there than something which has the body of a STAR WARS remake and the mind of a direct-to-video throwaway.
STARGATE is almost certainly written in homage to all those '50s pulp SF
movies where the Scientist and the Military Man lock horns over the Alien
Menace. "We need to understand them!" and "Blow them out of the sky!" are
usually the lines of dialog that get stuffewd into the character's mouths in
a movie like this, but we're not even allowed that luxury in STARGATE. The
movie plays less like homage (think of STRANGE INVADERS or the 1981 FLASH
GORDON for a better example of that) and more like, well, a clone. It's not
a send-up of bad movies -- it IS just a bad movie. Albeit louder and more
expensive.
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