Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)
Director: John Landis Cast: Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, Joe Morton, J. Evan Bonifant, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, B.B. King Rated PG-13: Exotic dancing, language
by Nathaniel R. Atcheson (nate@pyramid.net)
Lots of movies suck, but few movies suck the way Blues Brothers 2000 sucks. I usually don't resort to using the work "suck," but in this case, it is so vastly appropriate. I hate this movie. It is two unbearable hours of meandering pointlessness. Well, no, "meandering" implies movement, and Blues Brothers 2000 contains no movement. It's a stagnant, dead-feeling motion picture containing absolutely nothing of interest. It's highlighted by hundreds of cameos, car chases, gun fire, and irritating stereotypes.
Now, I have to be at least partially fair: it's been a long time since I saw the original, so I wasn't sure what to expect from this. Also, I have no affinity to the Music that the characters in this film cherish so much. Maybe I should have rented the original film before subjecting myself to this; at least then I would not have been blindsided by the pure, toxic awfulness of this movie. But I didn't. I watched it cold turkey, and I was blindsided. I was shocked not only by how bad the film is in general, but how intensely boring it is from start to finish. Thirty minutes into the film, I felt like I had seen enough black suits and sunglasses to hold me over into the next millenium.
Dan Aykroyd stars as Elwood Blues. Upon getting released from prison in the beginning of the film, he learns that his brother is dead. So, the story of Blues Brothers 2000 contains scene after scene in which Elwood tries to reassemble his old band. There are like thirty people in this silly band, so there are a lot of scenes in which Elwood has to convince wary musicians that dodging bullets really is worth the rewards they get from playing their music. Notable members of the band include Mac (John Goodman) and Buster the kid (J. Evan Bonifant).
I'll not bother with the subplots. Like all truly hideous films, there are countless subplots that clog the film and suffocate the viewer. I'll just mention that some of them contain nuns, while others showcase Russian mobsters, Confederate militia men, and a police chase led by Joe Morton.
Even though I'm not a fan of the Music, I think I could have enjoyed the film, had it been made well. Even though I'm not familiar with the characters, the movie could have still drawn me in and made me interested. All the best sequels I've ever seen are accessible even to viewers who haven't seen the originals. I simply saw no point to make this movie. Well, I take that back--there are two scenes in which Dan Aykroyd makes anti-drug messages. Knowing Aykroyd's history and the fate of John Belushi, I can understand why these were included. And I can respect that. But it doesn't make the film good.
Each scene plods along and slumps into the next with absolutely no feeling of progression. Musicals, when done poorly, come across as dull and contrived, as if there's no reason to have the music at all. I don't watch musicals often, but I can tell when they feel smooth. This one doesn't feel smooth. When the characters break out into song, I just want them to stop and be silenced.
There was, however one scene that had me laughing--towards the end, there is a two-minute pileup of police cars. The cars go flying through the air at ridiculous heights and speeds, and it is entertaining (most of the car stunts, actually, are so exaggerated that they are entertaining). I also like John Goodman, though he doesn't do much in this film. Unfortunately, these two elements don't amount to a hill of beans when compared to the flat-out wretchedness portrayed in every other scene.
I suppose the worst moment is when the Brothers stumble across the militia men meeting. I don't know if there are really people like this in the world, but I didn't think it was funny to see them in this film, and I didn't think it was funny when the Brothers accidentally blow them up with their own explosives. And the film has no rules--penned by Aykroyd and director John Landis, the script is a dark creation, displaying characteristics of musicals, comedies, and farces; but with each passing scene, the ridiculous factor increases exponentially until finally there are hordes of people undergoing magical transformations into rats.
This is the kind of film that I hate the most. It's a horribly dull, limp, and insipid attempt at an entertaining and energetic film. I can see how, if you love the first movie or you just love this Music, that you might find this entertaining. Like I said before, I don't know much about blues music. And, because of Blues Brothers 2000, I have no interest to ever learn anything about it.
>From 0-10: 2 Grade: F
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Nathaniel R. Atcheson
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