THE POPE MUST DIE
A film review by Frank Maloney
Copyright 1991 Frank Maloney
THE POPE MUST DIE is film by Peter Richardson, written by Peter Richardson and Pete Richens. It stars Robbie Coltrane, Beverly D'Angelo, Herbert Lom, Alex Rocco, Peter Richardson. "Rated R for irreverence."
THE POPE MUST DIE is a British film that opened to solid box-office in early June in London and is still playing in Britain, where it was among the top-grossing films last month. This is one more reason to think that the British think Catholicism is pretty funny stuff, which I can only assume is what's carrying the film. I don't think the humor is translating very well to American audiences. Instead, over here we're getting a rather bogus first-amendment controversy to fan ticket sales. Lots of papers in this country have either refused to carry Miramax's advertising or have edited the title in the ads down to "The Pope Must ...!"
The film is a satiric fantasy about a rather failed priest, Dave Albinizi, who gets elected Pope as the result of a clerical error instead of a photogenic and phony Cardinal Albini, the favorite son of corruption in the Vatican. The story derives, as did the story in GODFATHER PART III, from the Banco Ambrosiano scandal that rocked the Vatican some years back.
Robbie Coltrane plays Dave Albinizi with his usually cuddly-cute adroitness. Certainly, Coltrane is a major reason to sit through the problem-ridden production. However, his NUNS ON THE RUN was both funnier and a more effective vehicle for satirizing the Church. The supporting players provide some further richness. Alex Rocco as the Cardinal who talked like a Hollywood agent and carried a cruciform cellular phone gets in some fine business. Paul Bartel as the swishy Monsignor Vitchie is positively queenly. Herbert Lom does Vittorio Correlli, the godfather behind the machinations, to a turn until we get about two-thirds of the way through the film. He loses his edge just as the script goes ballistic and loses all its control, too. The woman who plays Correlli's daughter does a well-deserved send-up of the unfortunate Sophia Coppola. There's also worthy of mention the nun-from-hell role from Annette Crosby. Finally, director Peter Richardson provides an attractive, if not particularly dynamic, part as the only honest man in the Vatican.
One of the Seattle reviewers suggested that if Richardson had spent more time directing the movie and less time directing himself, we would have all benefited. Despite the excellent character actors, despite Beverly D'Angel's rather late appearance, and especially despite the cloying appearance of Salvatore Cascio, the too cute kid from CINEMA PARADISO (the movie I love to hate), there is no here here. No story that holds together, no vision, no conviction, no fire, certainly not the anti-rational anarchy of the Python gang. The movie is flat, flat, flat. There is no cinematography or score worth mentioning. The pacing is arrhythmic, but a certain boon for the refreshment counter.
It's true Richardson gets in a couple well placed kicks at both CNN and BBC. The Vatican exercise video with the chorus line of idiotically smiling priests ("Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John/Work that fat until it's gone") is pretty fine. However, it ain't enough.
I cannot recommend this movie, even at matinee prices. Maybe as a $1.98 rental next winter, but only if it's one of those nights.
-- Frank Richard Aloysius Jude Maloney .
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