Black Dog (PG-13) * (out of ****)
In 1990, the surprise success an unheralded little movie called Ghost instantly rescued the moribund careers of its trio of above-the-title stars, Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. Eight years later, Moore and Goldberg's careers aren't exactly thriving, but they have had their share of screen successes since; the same can't be said of Swayze, who has just added yet another turkey to his resume with the aptly named Black Dog.
Forget the Mortal Kombat movies--this trucksploitation flick is the closest the movies has come to video games. Good truck driver Jack Crews (Swayze) must drive a cargo of illegal firearms from Atlanta to New Jersey. Along the way, Jack and his crew of three run into a number of obstacles--such as a highway weigh station, evil truckers, and deadly Uzi-firing motorcyclists. Every so often, like at the end of a video game "level" or "stage," the main baddie pops up: Red (Meat Loaf, fresh from the triumph of Spice World), who wants to steal the cache of guns. Just in case you forget his name or have trouble keeping track of who's driving what, all of Red's vehicles, be it a pickup or a big rig, are painted--you guessed it--red.
I could go into more of the plot specifics (such as Jack's dream of having a nice home with his family, the past trauma that sent him to prison and cost him his trucking license, the FBI/ATF crew tracking the cargo), but they are of little importance. All that matters to director Kevin Hooks and writers William Mickelberry and Dan Vining are the obstacles Jack confronts in his drive from point A to point B. But they fail at even this modest goal, for none of the highway chaos, as credibly staged as it is, is terribly interesting, let alone exciting. Once you've seen a couple of trucks bang against each other or a big rig explode the first time, you've seen it every time.
As dreary as Black Dog is as an entertainment, the saddest part about the film has nothing to do with what shows up onscreen; it's that Swayze has to reduce himself to such work. While far from the best of actors, he is certainly not horrible, and he is a charismatic presence. I don't know if it's his judgment or the dearth of quality job offers that leads him to involve himself with bombs such as Black Dog. Regardless, if he continues on this career track, could a TV series be far behind?
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