Godzilla (1998)
Director: Roland Emmerich Cast: Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, Michael Lerner, Harry Shearer, Arabella Field, Philippe Bergeron Screenplay: Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich Producers: Dean Devlin Runtime: 139 min. US Distribution: TriStar Rated PG-13: disaster violence, language
By Nathaniel R. Atcheson (nate@pyramid.net)
A fellow critic, in his review of Godzilla, states his belief that his opinion will not sway readers' decisions whether or not to see the film. I agree with that submission, although I think there will be a lot of people out there reading reviews of Godzilla, wanting to see how many critics agree or disagree with their opinions on what is perhaps this summer's most-anticipated film. Based on this assumption, I am going to express my opinion in a manner which will hopefully convey that I feel passionate about the words I have written here.
I hate Godzilla. It's a film so bad that words like "incompetent" and "wasteful" lose their meaning. Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin are such hacks, so devoid of talent and vision, that they simply throw away what seem to be good ideas for films. I was hesitant to admit this belief until now: Stargate is a mediocre wannabe sci-fi action flick with a few interesting aspects and a nice cast. Independence Day, their "best" film, is exciting for the first half and at least in good humor (even if it doesn't know it's awful) through the ludicrous and insipid second half. Godzilla, however, begins at the bottom of the "mediocre" category and spirals quickly downward into a wretched pit of bad special effects, shameless unoriginality, and possibly the worst script ever to plague a film whose budget could retire the national debt.
In fact, there's almost nothing good to say about Godzilla. There's one scene that has Godzilla stomping full speed around the streets of New York in pursuit of a taxi which contains our heroes; this segment is a good action sequence. Some of Matthew Broderick's lines are fashionably executed, for he seems to be the only actor in the cast who is fully aware of the fantastically bad dialogue that Emmerich and Devlin have penned. That, my friends, is the list of positives. Seeing as how the film is well over two hours, and that one scene and a few lines of dialogue don't exactly fill the entire frame, I must now explain to you that Godzilla is not just an intense disappointment, but probably the worst film of 1998.
Maybe I should begin with a summary (though I have considered not doing this, for it is apparent that I will have given the film more thought than the two men responsible for it). The film begins with an insightful look at a bunch of lizards getting irradiated. Later, big cargo ships and smaller fishing boats are ravaged and pulled underwater. So, we are introduced to Nick Tatopoulos (Broderick), a worm specialist who is called in to investigate some really big footprints on a tropical island. Pretty soon, the huge radioactive lizard is taking his first steps in Manhattan, having fun knocking down buildings and screaming at things that are, perhaps, too small for it to see clearly (such as human beings). Later, it turns out that Nick's skills as a worm specialist are very helpful, for Godzilla is burrowing under the city and laying eggs in Madison Square Garden.
That's the story. It doesn't sound too bad, and I think a pretty decent summer blockbuster could have emerged from it, as opposed to this film, which unsuccessfully aspires to be referred to as "incompetent" and "wasteful." I suppose it's time to be concrete about all this, so I'll begin with the least of its problems. First, the soundtrack is bad. The music by David Arnold is not the least bit exciting or original, and is often very mushy and sentimental in parts that are supposed to be touching.
There are no characters, and most of the acting is extremely mediocre (not that anyone cares about acting in a film like this). Broderick, as I said, has his moments, because he understands the awfulness of the dialogue. Kevin Dunn is the worst of the bunch, playing the Head Military Guy who refuses to listen to reason and just wants to shoot missiles at Godzilla, and ultimately cause more damage to the city than the creature itself. Maria Pitillo, in one of the pointless subplots, plays Nick's ex-girlfriend, and she tries very hard to change her facial expression on several occasions. Hank Azaria plays a cameraman and is far less interesting than he was in any other film he's ever been in. Most perplexing is the presence of Jean Reno, who is part of a pointless and time-consuming subplot regarding the French government (although I do like it when he says, "Running would be a good idea," with a straight face).
The rest of the problems with this wad of cinematic refuse are equivalent in intensity and importance, so I'll just lay into the script first. I can't think of a worse screenplay than this one, and that includes all the low-budget straight-to-video numbers that get aired in the middle of the night on HBO. It is humorless (although there are many failed attempts at humor). It is not thought-out, and most of the dialogue sounds like it was written by middle-schoolers still trying to get a firm hold on the language. Example: "They might escape out into the city!" Any competent screenwriter would notice that "escape out" is redundant, and that "They might escape into the city!" would be the correct statement. Am I quibbling? No, because the script is jam-packed with this kind of sloppy writing. It makes me wonder if they proofread the script before filming it. Better yet, I wonder if they wrote the script down at any point in time. Keep in mind that *two* adults are responsible for this writing.
How about this -- some helicopters have Godzilla targeted with heat-seeking missiles. When he dodges them, and the missiles blow up the Chrysler building (I'm having flashbacks of Independence Day . . . I can't believe they ripped off their own film), the reason is that he's colder than the buildings around them. That must be because he's cold blooded, because he's a lizard, right? Well, cold blooded doesn't mean that he's really cold, for even the smallest snake in the world would have a higher body temperature than a concrete building in the rain. This film, in every aspect, is the result of carelessness and idiocy.
And here's the final blow: the special effects just aren't that great. The sequence I mentioned above is exciting and fairly well-crafted, but everything else here is terrible. Godzilla frequently looks like a cartoon, such as in the underwater scene that is a direct rip-off from Alien Resurrection. There's a lengthy sequence in which our heroes find the egg room, and this is lifted straight out of Aliens. Everything else in the film is a poor remake of Jurassic Park; Godzilla itself looks just like the Tyrannosaurus, and all the baby lizards hold striking resemblance to the raptors from that film. Every single sequence (note that -- every single sequence) is unoriginal, complemented by mediocre-to-lousy special effects and drab direction. The film is not exciting, and not interesting, and lacks even a hint of style and energy that even the silliest summer flicks always have.
Godzilla is unacceptable. It is the worst big budget film of all time, and it wins this title by a landslide. Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin are con artists, and coning is apparently the only kind of art they have a handle on. Understand this: I love big-budget summer fare. Recent films like The Rock, The Fifth Element, and Contact are great blockbusters that use big budgets to their advantages, and treat their audience with respect. Godzilla is a sloppy, boring film that delivers none of what it promises. I hate this film, and I hate that people are going to flock to see it. Certainly some will enjoy it, and I can't stop that. But I predict that most people will be disappointed in this film. I'm hoping that Emmerich and Devlin have spewed their last, for this piece of crap retires all patience I once had for them.
1/2* out of **** (1/10, F)
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Nathaniel R. Atcheson
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