'The Big Leap to X-World' Dr. Daniel's review of The X-Files: Fight The Future
Rating: in for observation (***)
Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Martin Landau, Blythe Danner, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Mitch Pileggi, John Neville, William B. Davis, Glenne Headly, Bruce Harwood, Lucas Black, Tom Braidwood.
Directed by Rob Bowman. Rated PG-13.
Okay, here's the deal. There's a big ol' rush nowadays toward anything along the lines of "unexplained phenomena," those weird head-scratchers that just seem to happen for no apparent reason. We get a lot of that stuff here in Carver Point, too, believe it or not. There's a man named Herbert Potterman, lived here 63 years, who always seems to get deathly ill about three days before his wife's people have their family reunion. He can be perfectly fine one day, then, Ethel Ann will remind him about her reunion this coming weekend, and he's in my office the next morning, poor soul. He always gets this mysterious aching in his back and stomach that we can't figure out, but I always have to tell Ethel Ann that Herbert'll need to stay home that weekend 'cause it pains him to travel.
Usually, about Monday of the next week, Herbert's pain fades away, and he's back to normal. And, even more mysterious than that, on the Tuesday of that same week, I find a hundred-dollar bill in my mailbox, taped to a fruit jar full of a clear, slightly oily liquid that has a strong scent of distilled spirits about it. Oh, the oddities of the world....
I guess this new-found interest in the unexplainable could be traced to TV's new darling, the "reality" show, starring aliens and crop circles and haunted houses. But I believe it goes beyond that. I think it can be traced to a conspiracy within television, eminating from the Fox network. These people have secretly hooked a good part of the country on a show called "The X-Files", a show devoted to every unexplained mystery you could think of, and a few I bet you never wanted to think about. A sleek combo of sci-fi and horror, wrapped in the guise of almost-documentary style of filming, it plays us all like violins, pulling on every string we have that loves to be scared, and puzzled, and scared some more. And I love it. I love it to death.
That's why I've been geared up for the new version of the show, this time in theatrical form, known as "The X-Files: Fight The Future." If there ever was a TV show that deserved to be a film, this is it. The show has pushed the limits of TV, and it was only logical that movies be the next output. They had the stars, they had the following, they had the creepy little supporting cast, they had it all. So, when the movie opened, I was there. Planted.
The film stars the Dynamic Duo of the Nineties, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI agents Mulder and Scully, and it literally picks up where the TV show ended its season a few weeks ago, a very interesting twist on the "cliffhanger" theory of TV season-enders. As we pick up, the two are investigating a network of power-brokers (played by John Neville, Martin Landau, and Armin Mueller-Stahl) that are involved in a project concerned with the colonization of the planet by means of alien life forms. The movie pulls all of the tricks it uses on the show, including my favorite semi-villain, the Cigarette-Smoking Man (William B. Davis). We get other quick hits like the "black oil" aliens and the super-bees. We also get a new, meaner-than-hay-ull bunch of aliens.
I really don't feel comfortable going any further than that, because I'd get into divulging secrets, and, as any fan of the show can tell you, the only thing worse than a secret is a secret revealed.
Let's do this. I liked the movie, and parts of it impressed me, but it never seemed to reach where it was shooting for. It's good, but it's nowhere near what I was expecting. When a show like The X-Files gets the chance to strut its stuff on a big screen, it ought to absolutely take it to the moon. The movie never makes that leap. Oh, there's more gore than we get to see on TV, and there's some profanity stirred in to spice things up, but, to dump this thing into the middle of a summer line-up, everybody was geared up for super action and heart-pounding suspense and some "WHOA!" special effects, and none of that ever really shows up. The movie is bigger in scope than the show, but it's not near better.
At the same time, I almost think that this might have been the plan all along. Build a big hoo-rah for the movie, tease us with talk of a consummation of the romance between Scully and Mulder, spring some new villains on us, bait us for everything, and then leave us hanging until the new TV season starts. If this is the case, that's almost forgivable. But, if this is the best they can do, somebody might want to wash off the blackboard and start over. The "coincidences" we've learned to accept on TV don't play quite as well on a huge screen as they do on a 22-incher at home with the bulbs out. And, I have to admit, I was less than thrilled that Scully and Mulder act so surprised when they discover a conspiracy going on and alien life involvement. Just what have these folks been doing for five years now, bending spoons with their heads and walking on fire? They've stepped into bigger piles of governmental poo-poo on TV and never even blinked, so why be amazed that it's happening again? Deal with it!
"The X-Files: Fight The Future" has a nice look to it, and, if you follow it as a glorified two-hour episode of the show, then, yes, it works fine. But, if the long-range plan is to pull a "Star Trek" with this, and go full-time cinema, Chris Carter and Crew better tighten some screws and do the same thing they did to make the TV show so popular. They're gonna have to quit playing it safe and push the envelope. Pardon the reference, but they will have to go where no movie has gone before.
So, all that said, all you "X-ers" out there, relax. It works. Maybe not as well as you'll want it to, but it works. And, remember, the first "Star Trek" movie stunk, and they're still going. And there's no way Shatner's gonna get a chance to ruin any of these. With Carter in charge of the world, it could only get better, or worse, which always seems more fun in X-World.
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