WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP
A film review by Mark R. Leeper
Copyright 1992 Mark R. Leeper
Capsule review: Occasionally very funny dialogue is not enough to rescue a story about the lives of two basketball hustlers who basically live for the game. The story off the court is basically pointless and has holes large enough to stuff a basketball through. Rating: -1 (-4 to +4). (After the review is a spoiler section listing plot absurdities.)
Billy Hoyle (played by Woody Harrelson) is a natural basketball player. The game is his whole life. And he has a natural advantage. Billy is white and, as the title suggests, everybody thinks only blacks can be good at basketball. One day Billy hustles Sidney Dean (played by Welsey Snipes), who is also a part-time hustler. Sidney suggests that the two of them join up as a hustling team. Each needs money. Dean has a wife and son and a semi-legal part-time job that does not pay enough. Hoyle is on the run from two thugs because--are you ready for a twist?--he failed to throw a game after he'd told some gamblers he would. Billy has a girlfriend also, who spends her day memorizing trivia facts in the hopes that someday she will be on JEOPARDY. The hustle has Sidney offering to play two-on-two playground basketball and his opponents can choose any partner for Sidney they want. Sure enough, they always pick the white guy with the stupid look on his face.
So what we have here is a black and white male bonding film. We see in great detail how the two get along, how they occasionally don't get along, and how basketball conquers all. We see how each relates to "his woman." When things get dull the wise and wordly Sidney gives Billy some fatherly advice like "listen to your woman." And there is genuine pathos as we learn Billy's terrible secret that being white, he just does not have the talent to slam-dunk the basketball. (Spoiler: guess what happens in the climactic scene of the film? And in slow motion, yet.)
WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP was written and directed by Ron Shelton. Shelton previously did the nice BULL DURHAM and the very good BLAZE. While some of the basketball photography is okay, in terms of dramatic tension it degenerates into the cliche of slow motion photography. Only the rapid-fire insult-trashings on the court give the film interest value. This one is skippable. I would give it a -1 on the -4 to +4 scale.
Spoilers:
Plot problems:
1. So what if a security guard for JEOPARDY owes a favor? How does that get a contestant on the show? 2. Why did just the right question categories show up on JEOPARDY? Another security guard favor? Not likely. 3. On JEOPARDY you have to wait until a question is read before you can hit the button. 4. No organized crime enforcer is stupid enough to fake having killed someone to fulfill a contract. It is a really good way to get yourself killed if anyone sees the victim still alive. 5. The bet is that you are to play against Sidney and one other person of your choice. This guy over to your left owes you money. On your right is your best friend since second grade. Then there's the kid with the missing arm. And that one over there can't dribble a basketball without tripping. There is a seven-year-old watching behind the fence. And over there is a tall, athletic white dude, somewhat nerdy, whom you've never seen before. Which one *wouldn't* you pick? Ever? But if the hustle doesn't work the whole film makes no sense.
Mark R. Leeper
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