Six Days Seven Nights
Chad'z rating: ** (out of 4 = fair/below average)
1998, PG-13, 101 minutes [1 hour, 41 minutes]
[romantic comedy]
Starring: Harrison Ford (Quinn Harris), Anne Heche (Robin Monroe), David Schwimmer (Frank Martin), Jacqueline Obradors (Angelica); written by Michael Browning; produced by Roger Birnbaum, Wallace Nicita, Ivan Reitman; directed by Ivan Reitman.
Seen June 22, 1998 at 7:30 p.m. at Rotterdam Square Mall Cinemas (Rotterdam, NY), theater #1, with my brother John for free using my Sony/Loews critic's pass. [Theater rating: ***: good sound, picture, and seats]
For the past few years a new trend, a conspiracy even, has been infiltrating the mainstream movie market. Major studios have been producing a growing number of "fluff" films, or what might be referred to as modern B-movies. Although not nearly as bad as their predecessors, these pieces of medicore filmmaking work in the same manner, that is, to simply clutter theaters in effort to out-do the competition. The trend has been subtle as the films are made mostly by rookies and flavor-of-the-month actors, but here comes "Six Days Seven Nights" which could change everything. Not only is it another generic romantic comedy without the romance nor the comedy, but it separates it from the rest is the credit of Harrison Ford and Ivan Reitman, and yet neither come close to working their magic with the material.
As is the case with most fluff movies, this one wastes no time in establishing the minimum requirements necessary for a story to exist. During the opening credits we're told the entire backstory as we meet the young New York couple: Robin Monroe (Heche), a trendy editor at a semi-trashy women's fashion magazine, and her boyfriend (and soon to be fiancée) Frank Martin (Schwimmer), who may be the world's first dorky yuppie. The two have been dating for a few years and are about to take a vacation together at a resort on a remote tropical island.
By the time the two arrive at their hotel, the feeling of complete and total unoriginality is evident. This is worsened when the film decides to form a plot of sorts by giving the characters something of conflict, which involves their forced interaction with Quinn Harris (Ford), an old, shady airplane pilot whose presence is annoying not only to Robin and Frank, but to the audience as well since it's clear what will happen between which characters, when, and why.
The first act rushes to get to the film's catch which involves Quinn and Robin's being stuck together on an deserted (not desert) island. How this comes about is presented as completely logical, but is really total stupidity. It's clear the filmmakers don't want to spend too much time on plausibility, otherwise they might have found less predictable and more believable plot elements to move the story along.
Cliches don't necessarily equal flaws, and although they are abundant here, it is the poor script and flat direction which suffocate the film. The cliches are at least consistent, almost to the point of being satirical, but the way in which they are employed is the film's problem. The foreshadowing is so blatantly obvious it's pathetic. Of course an attractive man and woman who don't like each other and are forced into being together are going to fall for each other. Of course the junky little plane is going to crash so the characters are stranded. Of course their lovers back home will get together. And of course some "funny" things will happen along the way.
Making a romantic comedy work shouldn't be a difficult task. It's a mixture of two well-loved genres, but here the two clash so harshly it's painful. The film's comedic side is basically a combination of every joke currently availble on "Must See TV." We get the cartoony sight gags, some slapstick, and lame one-liners at all the wrong times. Its romantic side is laughable as Ford and Heche are completely out of place. Neither put much emotion into their acting, probably because they've deserve better and have done much better than this and thus they have no chemistry. Meanwhile, Schwimmer does his usual Ross-from-"Friends" schtick, with the constant whining and over-acting. But it's not entirely the actors' fault, since they have little to work with here. The plot is weak, the dialogue is worse, and the attempt at suspense by introducing villains is cartoonish to the extreme. I half expected Scooby Doo to show up.
Critics often accuse today's films of ripping-off the classics, but with the case of "Six Days Seven Nights" I really wish it had done so, then there'd be at least some sign of taste. Just once I'd like to see a film as generic as this copy the end of "Casablanca."
e-mail: ChadPolenz@aol.com (C) 1998 Chad Polenz
Member of: The Online Film Critics Society (OFCS) The Internet Movie Critics Association (IMCA) The Online Movie-Goers Academy (OMGA)
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