SMALL SOLDIERS
Release Date: July 10, 1998 Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Gregory Smith, Phil Hartman, Jay Mohr, Denis Leary The Voices of: Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Christina Ricci Directed by: Joe Dante Distributed by: DreamWorks Pictures MPAA Rating: PG-13 (violence, brief language, thematic elements) URL: http://www.execpc.com/~kinnopio/reviews/1998/small.htm
Certain movies can be marketed for one demographic and made for another. And often, that same movie may be suitable for neither grouping. When that happens to a movie, there's an awful, sinking feeling that occurs while watching it. And you get that feeling when watching the story in SMALL SOLDIERS unfold. The movie runs 110 minutes long, but somewhere in the middle it becomes very apparent that this movie was not made for anyone over twelve years of age. The dialogue, story, and setting are very childish, and only the spectacular special effects and sometimes on-target humor make this movie a tad worthwhile.
The movie begins at, conveniently, the beginning, when GloboTech Industries president Gil Mars (Denis Leary) licenses his weapons technology to toy makers (headed up by Jay Mohr). Two lines of these super-smart, self-aware, "living" toys are introduced: the Commando Elite - G.I. Joe wannabes - and the Gorgonites - STAR WARS alien extras. These opening scenes are a bit ponderous, and they spend too much time on characters that aren't important. The most miscast of all is Denis Leary, whose character is too confined for him to make use of his cynical comedic talent. Eventually, though, they do introduce the main plot. A shipment of the toys makes its way to a small-time toy store owned by Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith) and his father (Kevin Dunn). The first time the toys come "alive," they overrun the store and escape before anyone notices. This is Alan's fault, because he was supposed to be watching the store that day.
Alan's got a rocky relationship with his family because he once graffitied the wall of a school he was at and pulled the fire alarm. These seemingly superfluous bits of knowledge about Alan's character are extracted tediously, and to no effect. The biggest result of all of the development of his character is that his parents don't trust him, which is the setup for many formulaic scenes. Alan gets caught doing something that has an explanation, but they won't believe him. This, along with the very out-of-place love story between Alan and his next-door neighbor Christy (Kirsten Dunst), are nothing but lopsided lampoons of prepubescent cinema. There's nothing here that hasn't been done before, and it's up to the toys to save the day and the integrity of the pic. Which they do, with varied success.
After the toys escape from the toy store, they fight the battle to end all battles at Alan's house. There's a lot of unnecessary violence in this scene and at other points throughout the movie, making it largely questionable as a children's movie. On one side, the good guy toys - the Gorgonites - aren't really that likeable. As Alan says, they're "losers with self-esteem problems." They're programmed to lose, and their monotonous, defeated voices don't really help. On the other side are the Commando Elite, which really are the most fun in the entire movie. Tommy Lee Jones voices the lead Commando, Chip Hazard, with great success, and if not for the violence included, they would be a fine source of comic relief. However, that final fallback - the comedy - also fails largely. Phil Hartman is very underused, and the only jokes that work are none-too-subtle jabs at the Spice Girls and TITANIC. This movie is just too off-balance to be much fun, and the target audience is never really honed in upon. Seeing it is a very gutsy movie.
FINAL AWARD FOR "SMALL SOLDIERS": 2.0 stars - a fair movie.
-- Craig Roush kinnopio@execpc.com -- Kinnopio's Movie Reviews http://www.execpc.com/~kinnopio
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