ARMAGEDDON (1998)
Directed by Michael Bay
Starring : Bruce Willis (Harry Stamper)
Liv Tyler (Grace Stamper)
Ben Affleck (A.J.)
Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton)
Steve Buscemi=09
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer
Running Time : 2hrs 20mins
Reviewed by Jack Choo
Rating : *1/2 out of *****
The Meteor that Failed to Impact=20
If I were to plot a graph of year against movie-plot-ridiculity for = Hollywood movies, you'll probably see a line with constant gradient. = Now, if I were to plot that same graph for the movies that the Michael = Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer has made over the last 4 years, that line would be = exponential in growth. The team started out with the Will Smith vehicle = BAD BOYS which was no more than a 2hr long action-music-video, = nevertheless entertaining. Then came THE ROCK, where audiences flocked = to see NICHOLAS CAGE team up with SEAN CONNERY against some terrorizing = general fighting over some stupid cause. CON-AIR was ridiculousy dumb in = its premise but it did have fun moments, and who can forget the nursery = rhyme sang by that psycho killer played by STEVE BUSCEMI. While these = movies worked because there was something better to cover-up the dirt, = ARMAGEDDON does not.
Very much like DEEP IMPACT, a meteor is heading towards Earth and they = didn't realize it until 18 days from impact. DEEP IMPACT settled with = the modest meteor size as large as the city of New York but ARMAGEDDON = just had to be BIGGER....well about the size of Texas (that kinda meteor = whould probably knock Earth out of its orbit!). The panic of this = sighting spurs the idea of landing people on the meteor, drill it then = nuke it (sounds familiar) and who better to do such a job than Harry = Stamper (Bruce Willis), your very own oil-driller extraordinaire and = his team of macho-misfits, nursing the tagline `there ain't nothin' on = this planet that Harry can't drill!'. In that 18 days, Harry's group was = split into 2 teams, trained for deep-space flight and finally blasted = into space in with special drilling vehicles on 2 new space shuttles.
The main relationship drama of ARMAGEDDON is formed within the = relationship of Harry, A.J. and Grace. To give you an idea, A.J. works = for Harry, and loves Grace, Harry's daughter. The problem is, Harry = hates to see his daughter hanging around some scruffy grunt like himself = for the rest of her life. So while A.J. and Harry struts it out, Grace = is place in a position where she is unable to take sides, so she remains = seated in the NASA control tower, crying over both of them in about 80% = of the movie.
The human elements this movie tries to inject proves to be nothing more = than just an excuse for more slow-mo's and gold-tinted photography. The = anguish of the world is potrayed with scenes of people praying, running = for their lives or just sitting still staring at the sky, sounds fine = right? I know, but it looks too out of place on screen, too staged. If = you were to ask yourself, `What's the difference between ARMAGEDDON and = a R&B music video?" you'd probably just said `The music.". Not = surprising since Michael Bay is a child of that industry and has = actually managed to transpose his MTV skills to screen successfully. His = foray into ARMAGEDDON just proves that he doesn't when to stop.
Well there's really nothing much to sum up here. The = Stock-Aitken-Waterman of Hollywood Movies have projected their art-form = into ridiculity, beyond the plane believability, where people still = accept even if they didn't believe. DEEP IMPACT was ridiculous in most = aspects and I believe the makers know this. The thing is, they decided = to shroud myth and fantasy with a purely believable human tale of = suffering and coming in terms with ones problems, which ultimately = brought it above the ashes which it had initially put itself in. = ARMAGEDDON, is an overcrowded, loud, messy, preposterously manipulative = waste of money and deserves to remain in that same pile of ash..=20
If you have planned to watched this over DEEP IMPACT because of Liv = Tyler, Bruce Willis or the tagline "From the makers of `THE ROCK'!!". = Please catch DEEP IMPACT before it finishes its run, it may be the only = meteor worth watching in long-long time. If you have to see it, please = bring ear-plugs and some aspirins (for the vertigo). Expect ARMAGEDDON = LD's to retail at S$19.90 at CarreFour come release time. Gee......even = that's not worth it!
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