'Baseketball' (1998)
A movie review by Walter Frith
Member of the 'Internet Movie Critics Association' http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Studio/5713/index.html
and
Member of the 'Online Film Critics Society' http://smart.sbay.com/ofcs/
The only thing that's worse than viewing a really bad movie is seeing a really bad movie that actually HAD potential. I love movies that take cynical and sarcastic jabs at all the things that make most of us angry. Recent high school graduates signing NBA contracts in the 100 million dollar range which they don't deserve because they haven't proven themselves in the big leagues. Teams switching cities, disregarding fan loyalty even though their profits are substantial. Sports stadiums and arenas given corporate names and plastering their marketing strategy in people's faces until their exhausted and the way some sports, like hockey, disregard rules in favour of dirty play. 'Baseketball' makes fun of all these things but loses sight of the fact that gross-out gags can only carry a movie so far.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of television's 'South Park', star as two social misfits who, while at a party one night in the suburbs, invent a game in the driveway of their hostess and later call in baseketball. A cross of course between baseball and basketball that in reality looks pretty boring. Like strikeout in baseball, the idea to retire you opponent in baseketball is the 'psyche' out where you mentally tease members of the other team to distract them from doing their job. I was sick of the game of baseketball after the second or third scene involving it. The game grows in popularity slowly until a billionaire (Ernest Borgnine) wants to take the game professional. Five years pass and the game is so popular that it ranks up there with the other major sports and arenas are packed with fans and Bob Costas and Al Michaels, two of America's best sports broadcasters, are the chief announcers for the Milwaukee Beers, the name of the team that Parker and Stone play for.
One tasteless scene makes fun of the fact that Borgnine, the owner of the Beers, chokes on a hot dog at the championship game and dies and the Beers lose. At the reading of the will, Parker is given majority control of the team but if the team loses the championship next year, controlling interest reverts to Borgnine's widow (Jenny McCarthy). Gee, like that doesn't give away the ending. Don't blame me. I'm saving you money by telling you that the movie makes this obvious, predictable, and you've seen it all before. McCarthy is pursued by the villainous owner (Robert Vaughn) of the Dallas Felons (can you guess what team they're making fun of here?) who tries to get close to her and take over the team himself. Parker and Stone both fall for a beautiful humanitarian (Yasmine Bleeth) who runs one of those programs for underprivileged children.
The creators of 'The Naked Gun' and 'Airplane!' series are responsible for this mess of a movie that doesn't have the first clue where to draw the line, keep its ideas fresh or be entertaining and convincing without using crude humour. I found Parker and Stone completely untalented in this film. How can two guys who make such a sharp and funny show like 'South Park' miss the mark by so much here? Director David Zucker lets every joke fall flat and 'Baseketball' will only appeal to the dirty minded adult and the care free mind of pre teens. How about something for the rest of us?
OUT OF 5 > zero
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