ROBOT NINJA
A film review by Ken Johnson
Copyright 1992 Ken Johnson
80 min., not rated, Action, 1989 Director: J.R. Bookwalter Cast: Michael Todd, Bogdan Pecic, Maria Markovic, Floyd Ewing, Jr., Bill Morrison, James L. Edwards, Michael Kemper, Jon Killough, J. R. Bookwalter, Burt Ward, Linnea Quigley, Scott Spiegel, David DeCoteau
Todd is the artist of a comic strip about a robot ninja. One night he sees a couple raped and murdered by Markovic and her gang. He gets inventor Pecic to create a Robot Ninja suit and then he goes after Markovic and her gang.
My local video store just got ROBOT NINJA and as I am a fan of Linnea Quigley, I checked it out immediately. First off, Linnea is only on for about five minutes. Second, the film is a piece of garbage. The acting in the film is horrible. The actors don't even look like they care about how well the film comes out. Not even Linnea ended up looking good. The film is worse than Linnea's earlier film THE BLACK ROOM, which I thought was pitiful. Third, the film is actually only an hour and nine minutes long. The other eleven minutes are the end credits, which are the only good part of the film. The credits have a bit of humor thrown into them, especially the part where it says no copying the film and that the film is in no way connected to anyone living or dead.
Fourth, the script was horribly written. I had no feelings for any of the characters. Markovic's character is a big b**ch and Todd's character is a complete jerk. Todd really has no reason to go after Markovic as he didn't even know the couple killed. In DEATH WISH, it was Charles Bronson's daughter and wife, but here there is absolutely no connection between Todd and the couple. The actors' lines in some parts of the film are incredibly moronic.
Fifth, there is no end to the graphic violence. Graphic violence is fine when it fits into the film, but ROBOT NINJA seems to be written around the violence. The violence starts about five minutes into the film and doesn't stop until the end of the film. The gore is overdone to an extreme. Apparently J.R. Bookwalter feels that the MPAA rating system harms the creative process, so he didn't submit ROBOT NINJA for a rating. This is probably just as well for Mr. Bookwalter considering, I think, that ROBOT NINJA would have received an NC-17 for graphic violence, which would have killed most of the films potential audience.
Technically speaking, the film is still pitiful. The sound effects weren't well done. For example, at one point a person is kicking and the sound of the kick happens before the leg moves. The music is sad, it doesn't even sound good (most of it was done by Mr. Bookwalter on an Amega). The sound quality is low grade and it looks like the film was shot on a hand held video recorder.
ROBOT NINJA easily wins as one of the most awful films that I have ever seen. I could continue on and on about the deficiencies of this film but I wouldn't want to waste your time or mine. I am disappointed in David DeCoteau, director and producer of B movies, for being the executive producer of this film. This makes a new low for him and for Linnea Quigley for being in this film. I don't recommend watching this film even for free. On a scale of zero to five, I give ROBOT NINJA a zero. ROBOT NINJA is unrated but contains graphic violence, explicit language, and rape.
Ken J. blj@mithrandir.cs.unh.edu
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