SIX-STRING SAMURAI A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 1998 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
Is the world ready for a parody of a film like THE POSTMAN, which some already regard as a parody? SIX-STRING SAMURAI seems to think so, but if we have to have another parody of a post-apocalyptic America, does it have to be this unwatchably bad?
The plot for SIX-STRING SAMURAI has the Russians dropping the bomb on the United States in 1957 and then occupying the entire country, except for Las Vegas. In Vegas, the only free spot left on the earth, Elvis is crowned the king. The movie takes place 40 years later when the king has died, and Elvis wannabes are heading for "Lost" Vegas, which is shown recast into an image of Oz.
The hero of the tale is one such Elvis would-be replacement. Named Buddy, he is played by Jeffrey Falcon, whose background is solely in Chinese martial arts films. With a blank slate for a face and with a little tinny voice, he relies on his ability to perform martial arts spins to tell his story. The picture emphasizes his fighting skills by playing a third of his scenes in slow motion.
The handsome, saturated colors in the cinematography and the film's dramatic visual style are the only things to recommend it. Most of the supporting cast seem to think they are mental patient escapees from ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST. The villains are Darth Vader wannabes, dressed in dark rags.
The "best" part of the movie is the paucity of dialog. The script by the lead, Jeffrey Falcon, and the director, Lance Mungia, has one-liners like "Cool" and "Gee." When the actors attempt a complete English sentence, "Slice me off a thigh, Honey Bunch" is typical.
"The Kid" in the movie, played by Justin McGuire, is the one whose thigh almost becomes dinner. McGuire is the only actor who demonstrates any talent potential. Whether he has any or not is hard to ascertain, since it is hidden in this mess of a movie, but he has a couple of good facial expressions.
The Nevada desert, where the picture is set, serves as a perfect metaphor. The film is as dry and barren as the arid terrain. The formless story drifts aimlessly like a tumbleweed blowing nowhere in particular. If I hadn't been at a press screening to review the film, I would have walked out, which is what I'd recommend you do if you find yourself accidentally watching it. Then again, who knows. Perhaps, someday it will be thought of as so outrageously atrocious that it will be considered a cult classic.
SIX-STRING SAMURAI runs 1:31. It is rated PG-13 for martial arts and sword fight violence and would be fine for kids around 10 and up.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: www.InternetReviews.com
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