Three Short Movie Notices
COOL WORLD
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID
Copyright 1992 Frank Maloney
The following are not reviews per se, but rather brief notices "for the record" of three films I have seen recently, none of which appears to deserve a more extended discussion by this reviewer:
COOL WORLD
COOL WORLD is an animated-live action film directed by Ralph Bakshi and stars Kim Bassinger, Gabriel Byrne, and Brad Pitt. If cool means unemotional or uninvolved, then this film is well named. To say that the most interesting performance by the live actors was by Kim Basinger ought to be give you some idea of one of the film's problems. Basinger's Holli Would is a monster of ego and libido, but at least she wants to do something. Gabriel Byrne, who is quite a creditable actor normally, has no idea was to do with this part as the ex-con cartoonist who tunes into the Cool World; he is wooden and silly with his wide-eyed stares and dropped-jaw expression that tides him over in lieu of acting. Brad Pitt, who made a mark for himself in THELMA & LOUISE, makes a mess of his role as the morality cop. It is absolutely the worst interface I've ever seen between a live actor and a cartoon. A few of the backgrounds are interesting and the last ten minutes is inventive and funny, but it is overall a film to be avoided by all but the most die-hard followers of animation. For the rest of us, it is mostly ugly, repetitive, juvenile, and overblown, and if you say it's a satire of Hollywood I say "So what?" because it doesn't work.
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER is a film directed by Roland Emmerich, from a script by Richard Rothstein, Christopher Leitch, and Dean Devlin. It stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Ally Walker, with Jerry Orbach; it is rated R, for violence, nudity, and language. This is an unconvincing and unbelievable kick-ass science fantasy that is relieved by Van Damme's rather cute imitation Schwarzenegger, by J-C's nude scene, and most importantly by Ally Walker as the cocky TV reporter who gets swept up by the deadly and extended contest between J-C and Lundgren, the maniac who can't be killed; Walker is far and away the most interesting aspect of this uninteresting movies. The major premise of the film is obviously bogus that the rest of the film becomes immediately pointless, unless extreme violence is its own reward. Walker is funny, J-C is sort of funny, Lundgren is impossible. If you say that Emmerich the German director achieves an near parody of the James Cameron rollercoaster style, I say "So what?"; parody needs a point of view. I turned my face a few times, but otherwise I just was marking time and getting away for a couple of hours from an especially hot Sunday in Seattle. Not recommended at any price, except to the most rabid fans of Van Damme.
HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID
HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID, directed by Randal Kleiser, from a story by Garry Goodrow, stars Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, and Robert Oliveri and is rated PG. This sequel to the sweet and inventive HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS still has Rick Moranis, who is always fun to watch, but otherwise is a pointless and exploitative effort to cash in on the success of the original. Tell me it's a parody of the 50s obsession with giant mutants, especially THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, and I'll say "So what?"; it has nothing to say about these films or the period they grew out of. This film adds nothing to the f/x vocabulary and in fact the special effects are pretty clumsy and obvious. Part of the problem is that tiny is fascinating but gigantic is merely dangerous. The best moments are when Moranis, the gifted ex-tempore comic actor, has to ad-lib around the undirectable twins that play Adam, the ultimate in the terrible twos, especially the scene when Moranis proposes a lullaby and the kid wants another tune; it is obvious (and has been confirmed in a feature story) that the scene was improvised because the kid didn't want to hear the song the script called for, and as such it is tender, charming, direct, and natural. Something most of this terrible sequel is not.
The film is being shown with a charming Disney short about a discarded rockinghorse that tries to lure its child away from his video game. Part computer animation, it is brief but completely winning. Almost repays the cost of the matinee ticket.
-- Frank Richard Aloysius Jude Maloney
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