Lost in Space (1998)
**1/2 out of *****
Cast: Gary Oldman, William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Mimi Rogers, Heather Graham, Lacey Chabert, Jack Johnson, and cameos from some of the stars of the TV series. Written by: Akiva Goldsman Directed by: Stephen Hopkins Running Time: 130 minutes
Akiva Goldsman, the writer and producer of Lost in Space is the same person who joined forces with that hideous monster Joel Schumacher to help obliterate the Batman franchise. Now Goldsman has left Schumacher behind, looking to destroy some other beloved series. Thankfully, he picked one that wasn't so established to begin with.
I remember watching the TV series Lost in Space as a kid. It was a fairly entertaining show as far as cheesy sci-fi goes, but I haven't seen a frame of it since I was oh, six years old. So the fact that it's based on something I watched as a kid had no influence on my opinion whatsoever. It holds no special place in my heart or anything like that.
The year is 2058. Earth has almost exhausted all of it's natural resources and now the Robinson family, led by brilliant scientist John Robinson (William Hurt), venture out into the galaxy to find new resources for our planet. Now two things: this is only 60 years in the future? Goldsman's a little too ambitious there if you ask me. We can't even control a remote-controlled car on Mars for more than two days. We're supposed to be space travelling to the farthest reaches of the galaxy with ease in the next 60 years? And also, you want to know why our natural resources are almost exhausted? Look no farther than all the spaceship cars and orbiting space stations we've built. So humans have used up all of our natural resources to build ships to help us look for more natural resources? Anyway, it seems we're in some sort of civil war with ourselves over the space exploration stuff.
A faction of terrorists hope to sabotage the mission by destroying the Robinson family and their spacecraft. The evil Dr. Smith (Gary Oldman, in full bad guy mode) sneaks on board to do just that, but is knocked unconscious before the launch. The ship launches, mayhem ensues, and to make a long story short... Dr. Smith, the Robinson family, and their pilot Major Don West (Matt LeBlanc) end up millions of miles from home. Now they're lost in space, get it?
What's fun about Lost in Space is seeing how many plots from other (and better) sci-fi movies and TV shows you can spot. Look, it's the crash of the Enterprise from Star Trek:Generations! Now it's the Death Star battle scene from Return of the Jedi! Now it's The Black Hole! Now it's Star Trek:The Motion Picture! Now it's... well you get the idea. Actually most of the second half of the film is nothing but a redressed version of the second half of Star Trek:Generations. There's hardly one original concept in the whole picture.
Goldsman has unfortunately brought along his trusty one-liner book, and it's amazing that he had any left over after "Batman and Robin". And I can't say this enough... I hate one-liners! What makes it even worse is that, the characters are using puns and phrases from NOW, surely by 2058 they'd be considered obsolete. If a teenager today was saying lines from the 1930s like "She's the cat's meow" or "23-skidoo" they'd be beaten to a bloody pulp.
Watching "Lost in Space" is a lot like watching the film portions of some big interactive ride at Epcot or Universal Studios. If I was six years old again, I'm sure that I'd think the new version of Lost in Space was great stuff. And six year olds seem to be it's target audience, what with the silly brother-sister spats and cute little aliens and all. It's a marketing bonanza, with action figures and Happy Meals clearly right around the corner.
The performances by the men in the film are good, but the female characters are all sadly wasted. And the youngest daughter Penny (Lacey Chabert) makes me uncomfortable because I'm not sure what to say about her. She could either be six years old or eighteen years old. The effects are good for the most part, although a couple do look really phony and therefore unconvincing. The best thing about the whole film is what we're treated to as the closing credits roll. We get a techno version of the old TV show's theme. That almost made it all worthwhile. Almost. [PG-13]
The Jacksonville Film Journal -- Film Reviews by Chuck Dowling URL: http://users.southeast.net/~chuckd21/ Email: chuckd21@leading.net
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