I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER Reviewed by Jamie Peck
The filmmakers would have at least made sense with the shorter "I Still Know," the longer "I Still Know What You Did Two Summers Ago" or the appropriate "Stupid People Getting Hacked to Bits." That last suggestion is the preferable one since the characters in this film do things that are the polar opposite of smart. For example, if your roommate is plagued by terrible nightmares as a result of being stalked and nearly murdered not long ago, would you sneak into her room late at night and hide in the closet, even if it was just to locate and borrow a cute little dress?
Probably not, but that's precisely what college student Karla (pop diva Brandy) does to best friend Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt), resulting in the first in a long line of phony frights. Julie, you'll recall, was one of the sole survivors at the end of 1997's surprise hit "I Know What You Did Last Summer," after a slasher with a grudge to bear - it's a _long_ story - began trying to pick off her, her buddies and various others in their coastal Carolina village. In this installment, the plot picks up as Karla wins a trip to the Bahamas, and Julie, yet racked by guilt, decides that maybe a tropical getaway will help ease her mind.
Yeah, right. Their island paradise has room, of course, for one more in the form of the still-alive killer (Muse Watson) from the first film. He sports the same Gorton's Fisherman get-up, a heavy hat and rain slicker that mask his identity, but why he's still trying to stay anonymous is a mystery this movie never solves ... though I suppose his hook-hand would look funny protruding from the sleeve of a leisure suit. In a sense, that's the movie's glaring flaw - everybody knows who the bad guy is, thus evaporating the level of paranoid tension nicely sustained by its prequel.
The murders and attempted murders in that film were vivid and scary, but Trey Callaway's derivative "I Still Know" screenplay makes the Fisherman just as dumb as his pretty potential victims. When Julie lays blissfully unaware in a tanning bed, giving him a perfect chance to wreak vengeance once and for all, what does he do? He twist-ties the lid shut and cranks up the UV rays - you'd think he'd want her gutted now instead of a skin cancer victim later. Even prequel "Summer" lovers might balk at how little there is here beyond sporadically amusing absurdity and a few neat-o shots of blood flowing from toned teenage flesh.
The innovative gallows humor that scribe (and "Scream" wunderkind) Kevin Williamson injected into "I Know"'s unfolding story is sorely missed, replaced with the grating antics of a white Rastafarian cabana boy who smokes weed and tosses off slang like "yo"; you'll cheer - not shriek - when he ends up with a pair of hedgetrimmers firmly implanted in his chest. If "I Know What You Did Last Summer," however effective, was just the kind of movie that those subversive "Scream" flicks poked fun at, then the deadly "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" deserves a full-blown roasting on "Mystery Science Theatre 3000."
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