VARSITY BLUES A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 1998 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
VARSITY BLUES cannot make up its mind what kind of movie it wants to be. At its core, it contains an honest examination of the pressures placed on high school athletes by their parents and coaches. Produced jointly by MTV Films and Paramount Pictures, the movie completely buries its dramatic side with a laughless and cliched teenage comedy.
In the one notable piece of acting in the film, a serious Jon Voight plays Coach Bud Kilmer. Coach Kilmer has coached his West Canaan, Texas AAA football team to 2 state championships and 22 district championships in his 35 years as head coach. Having played for another high school football team (Garland) when we won two AAAA state championships in a row, I can certainly identify with the pressures and rewards of living in a small, football-obsessed town.
Director Brian Robbins manages to get all of the small-town, football rituals right, although they may be somewhat dated. In the gym, the charged student body listens with enthusiasm as the coach and the star quarterback brag in advance about their upcoming victory over this week's rival team. On the practice field, the coach grabs the players' facemasks and screams obscenities at them when they don't do precisely what he demands. The director gets the quieter moments right as well. Before the game, the team bows their heads in a sincere rendition of the Lord's Prayer.
"Football is a way of life," the second-string quarterback, John "Mox" Moxon, explains in the film's narration to the viewers, who may not realize that Texas high-school football for many is a cross between a religious cult and a dictatorship. "You never question the sanctity of the coaches," Mox adds later.
Savor the film's few serious moments, and perhaps they can sustain you through the lame comedy by writers John Gatins and W. Peter Iliff that so dominates the movie.
With a pretty boy smile but little depth, James Van Der Beek plays Mox. Mox is a bench warmer until the first-string quarterback, Lance Harbor (Paul Walker), is sacked and injured. This incident is caused by the coach's forcing a dangerously ill, offensive guard to play when he shouldn't. When the offensive guard passes out, the defensive guard crushes Lance. With its recurring theme about coaches abusing players, the movie asks some challenging questions, but it quickly reverts back to bad slapstick before the audience has a chance to ponder the issues.
VARSITY BLUES is the type of movie in which the height of comedy consists of casting a 400 pound actor, Ron Lester, to play the team's dumb guard, Billy Bob, and giving the guard a pet pig to ride next to him in his big pick-up.
A typically unbelievable series of incidents involves the school's sex education teacher. She's a bimbo who makes the students chant in unison the common names for sex organs. Later, in an all-night boozing session at a strip bar, the high school football players recognize their teacher, who is the most attractive stripper there. Not at all shocked, she goes to their table to drink with them.
The story's depictions of alcohol abuse have to be its low points. The parents and the kids seem to be regular, heavy drinkers. A drunken party, in which the team gets wasted, follows every game. One scene has Billy Bob puking in the washing machine as a couple has sex on the dryer next to it. When the cops show up at the party, no one is arrested. The cops just admonish the underage drinkers not to drink and drive, a warning they promptly ignore. Teens watching this movie will learn many lessons, and few of them will be good.
The movie has a subtheme of girls, especially cheerleaders, needing the boys as their only ticket out of town. And the accepted way shown is for them to use sex as an enticement to the boys. The extremely attractive Darcy (Ali Larter), for example, starts taking her clothes off for Mox, who is shocked, as soon as he becomes a starter. She was once Lance's girl, but an injured Lance doesn't have the earnings potential she feels she needs.
And finally in its attempt to cover all the stereotypes, the story gives the team a token African-American player named Brown, who is the star running back. The coach, who would probably run over his own mother to win a game, is such a racist that he tries to keep Brown from scoring touchdowns.
For all of its faults, the movie does come up with a nice twist in the obligatory big game finale. The twist, however, isn't worth waiting for, so if you feel the urge to walk out sooner, don't resist.
VARSITY BLUES runs 1:40. It is rated R for sex, nudity, profanity and alcohol abuse. The movie might be acceptable for older teenagers, but watch out for the messages they will be getting.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: www.InternetReviews.com
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