Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (Reviewed on Dec. 16/98)
Starring Matthew McConaughey, Renee Zellwegger
I'm going to start this review off with a hypothetical question. Let's say you've just been in a car accident, and the driver of the other vehicle is unconscious. Your friends have left to go get help, and you're waiting to see if the victim wakes up. A tow-truck comes along, and the driver hops out of the truck to see what's going on. He then proceeds to kill the unconscious victim by snapping his neck. Do you:
A) Run away screaming for your life, staying away from the main road,
OR,
B) Run away (but not too fast) and stay on the main road even when the madman in the truck starts following you, *stop* to catch your breath, try to negotiate with the psycho, and when that fails, start running away again, all the while *staying on the main road*?
If you answered "a", you are far more intelligent than the screenwriter of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" and will likely hate this movie. However, if you answered "b", prepare to enjoy a film made with idiots like you in mind!
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" is being called a sequel, but it's really more of a remake of the original. There's a few changes here and there, but it's essentially the same (even the infamous "meathook" scene has been re-created.) The story opens with four teenagers hitting the road on the night of their prom, and somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere. Needless to say, they soon encounter Leatherface and his nutty family. Much carnage ensues.
To call this movie inept would be putting it mildly. In addition to the laughably idiotic situation I mentioned in my hypothetical question, there is a moment towards the end of the film where one of the baddies is killed by an airplane that literally comes out of nowhere. It just swoops down and kills him with its wheel. No explantion is given as to who was flying it or why he/she is going around killing people with the planes wheel.
The dialogue is even more atrocious. Zellwegger, who is kidnapped by "the family" early on, keeps trying to have normal conversations with these people. When you're surrounded by maniacs wielding chainsaws and dead corpses, I would think that rationality would go out the window. Speaking of going out the window, there is a scene in which Zellwegger jumps out a window. Apparently, the stunt double had a little trouble, because she visibly gets stuck in the window. The director quickly cuts to a wide shot where the stunt double *doesn't* get caught in the window. This was one of many glaring inconsistencies. There are so many, in fact, that if I were to name them all, this review would be several pages long.
The only reason I am giving this movie one star instead of no stars is because of Matthew McConaughey. He plays a member of "the family" with a hydraulic leg (home-made, I might add) and is so completely over-the-top, you can't help but be amazed by his performance. He obviously had a lot of fun with this part, and it really shows. He makes Jack Nicholson's portrayal of the psychotic inn keeper in "The Shining" look restrained in comparison.
For a horror movie, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" contains surprisingly little gore. In fact, in contains none. There's a little blood here and there, but that's as far as it goes. Which leads me to believe that the budget must have been *astonishingly* low, and it shows. Everything about the movie looks cheap, from the sets to the costumes. Especially Leatherface. Once frightening and nightmare inducing, he's now as terrifying as Dame Edna.
Do yourself a favor and take a pass at this remake. Check out the far superior original instead.
* out of ****
-- David Nusair dnusair@chat.carleton.ca
We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Why don't we just have animal auditions, line them up, one by one: "What are you?" "You're free to go." "I'm an otter." "And what are you?" "And what do you do?" "I'm a cow." "I swim around on my back and do cute "Get in the fuckin' truck, pal." little human things with my hands!" -Denis Leary
Come visit my Reel Film Reviews site! "http://chat.carleton.ca/~dnusair"
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