UNDER SIEGE
A film review by Jose R. Perez
Copyright 1992 Jose R. Perez
Okay, okay. Maybe I wasn't in the mood to watch a mindless action movie; I am the same person that liked LETHAL WEAPON III, even while admitting that it wasn't as good as the others. Howewer, the latest Segal picture didn't look that bad, and since none of my friends would go see a Woody Allen movie even if I paid them, I went to see it expecting a mild DIE HARD rehash. Boy, was I wrong!
In the first half of the movie, we are already assaulted with Segal's acting, (he is not simply wooden; he is like a wall), gratuitous violence, an incredible plot, sexist and even more gratuitous nudity, and bad lines that obviously were meant as jokes. By the end, it is obvious that hundreds of Navy men are no match for thirty armed Special Forces soldiers. Not once in the movie did Segal appear worried or undecided, which did not do much for increasing the unexistent suspense.
Of course, in movies like these, there must be a sidekick, and a love interest. In these one we are given a two for one package in the form of a Playboy model (in the movie), which only functions as a supposed comic relief (by the way of extremely stupid unfunny lines), and to have watering eyes and look away every time something bad happens in the movie. Oh, of course, she appears naked from the waist up, and, of course, Segal kisses her at the end after no development of their relationship; they did not even seem to be interested in each other. I have never seen so little chemistry between two people in a movie.
Often, the villain saves the movie; unfortunately, the villains here are cartoonish, stupid and unfunny, unmenacing. How many movies have psycho ex-Special Forces bad guys? Too many. I was able to predict the action all throughout the movie, including the moment where the sidekick saves the hero from certain death, the scene where the bad guy can kill the hero but proceeds to explain his plan to him, the scene where we are shown the hero's superiors are stupid, the scene where the bad guy loses his gun and has to fight the hero hand to hand, etc... Simply said, this is movie-making by the numbers, boring, and potentially offensive in going for the lowest common denominator of the audience.
My recommendation: If you go see it, bring a watch. You'll be looking at
it for most of the movie.
My rating: * out of ****. Rent DIE HARD. Read a book. Stare at the sky.
Do not waste your time on this worthless piece
of celluloid.
The real sad thing is that there are a lot of movies out that I would rather have seen; once again, dragged in by my friends, which by the way, liked the movie halfheartedly. They probably like wrestling too :-).
-- Jose R. Perez Internet: gt7257c@prism.gatech.edu
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