VARSITY BLUES
1/2 (out of 4) - a very poor movie
Release Date: January 15, 1999 Starring: James Van Der Beek, Jon Voight, Scott Caan, Ron Larter, Eliel Swinton, Ali Larter, Amy Smart, Paul Walker Directed by: Brian Robbins Distributed by: Paramount Pictures MPAA Rating: R (strong language throughout, sexuality and nudity, some substance abuse) URL: http://www.execpc.com/~kinnopio/reviews/1999/varsity.htm
There's something to be said for reality, and MTV Productions' latest movie, VARSITY BLUES, proves it beyond a doubt. Even the most flawed movies -- those filled with bad acting, poor direction, horrible writing, and misguided photography -- can salvage some dignity by clinging to reality. But when any real-world sense is thrown out the window, as in VARSITY BLUES, the product becomes a 100-minute travel along a downward spiral. Directed by GOOD BURGER helmer Brian Robbins, VARSITY BLUES is easily bottom-of-the-barrel entertainment.
As with any Gen-X MTV movie (like last year's DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS), the movie is marketed for a primarily male audience as indicated by its main selling points: sex and football. Those two items, wrapped in a guilty-pleasure package, are sure to snare a sizeable box office chunk initially, but sales will decline for two reasons. First, the football sequences are nothing new, nor can they be; the sports genre isn't mainstream and it's been retread to death. Second, the sex is just bad. Despite the appearance of a whipped cream bikini or the all-night strip-club party, there's nothing even remotely tantalizing.
The acting is mostly mediocre, not including the fantastic Jon Voight. Cultivating his usual sliminess, Voight gives an unexpectedly standout performance as West Canaan Coyotes head coach Bud Kilmer. Kilmer is the driving force behind the Coyotes' twenty-two conference championships and two state titles in thirty years; this year he plans to make it twenty-three. Unfortunately, when his star quarterback, Lance Harbor (Paul Walker), goes down for the count, he's got to rely on the unreliable abilities of backup John Moxon (James Van Der Beek). Moxon leads the team through its last four games, and then must cope with his newfound stardom, the effect it has on his relationship with girlfriend Julie (Amy Smart), and other temptations that abound in football-crazy West Canaan.
Most regions of the country are not nearly as football-crazy as Texas, and so the atmosphere is likely to be lost on most. Similarly, the set design is wrong for a high school setting: the teams are decked out with sparkling uniforms, radio headsets (which never seem to work, however, and instead require coaches to signal plays manually), and even a giant bronze statue of Coach Kilmer. These elements (as well as the heavy drinking and carousing) might be more appropriate on a college campus -- but MTV's core audience is the high school demographic. This focus is further emphasized by the casting: James Van Der Beek, of TV's "Dawson's Creek," is an understandable choice for the reluctant hero, although he never manages to do anything with the role. Other stars are similarly young and unmemorable.
There's not much that goes right about VARSITY BLUES, and there's not much to like about it, either. Everything herein has already been done, and if it hasn't, the movie manages to botch it one way or another. This is certainly missable.
-- Craig Roush kinnopio@execpc.com -- Kinnopio's Movie Reviews http://www.execpc.com/~kinnopio
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