Tank Girl (1995, R)
Directed by Rachel Talalay
Written by Tedi Sarafien
Based upon the comic book.
Staring Lori Petty, Naomi Watts, Ice-T, and Malcolm MacDowell.
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just that I'm a New Jersey mallrat. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a lifeless film geek who can fall in love with a story about a girl and her tank. Then again, maybe I'm just insane. But, really, with a movie as fun as Tank Girl, who gives a damn? Tank Girl could be viewed, if you want to put it intellectually, as a parody of post-apocolyptical nightmare movies. Hell, it's a lot more fun that watching The Postman. If you want to put it intellectually, Tank Girl could be taken as an anti-facist document. It could be taken as a warning of the evils of greed. It could be taken as a feminist protest, or as a showing of lesbian idealism. It could be the new film for the group that boldly states "I am woman, hear me roar", whoever they are this day of the week.
But, you know what, that's all bullshit. Tank Girl isn't intellectual, it isn't literary, it isn't philosophical in any way shape or form that I could discern. Then why did I enjoy it? Because I'm human and it was fun.
Tank Girl follows (*gasp*) Tank Girl (Lori Petty) and Jet Girl (Naomi Watts) on their battle against Water and Power, headed by an evil mad scientist played by Malcolm MacDowell, who revives his unique insanity that he displayed in Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange.
The year is 2033 and, ever since a comet struck the Earth 14 years ago, it's been a little different. No celebrities, no cable TV, NO WATER. But, in the words of Tank Girl herself, "about 20 people have to shower together, so it ain't all bad".
Tank Girl is about like any other Gen-X heroine, sarcastic, sexy, able to kill people using her legs without breaking a nail. She's beer drinking, she's boxing, she's going around as a rebel stealing water from the notorious W&P (Water and Power). Of course, W&P decides to take them out and she barely survives. She's captured, but not before seeing her boyfriend die and killing eight W&P soldiers. Oh, well.
Tank Girl's put to work as a slave in W&P and still keeps her sarcasm. The evil scientist in charge wants her to work for him, but, being the hooker with the heart of gold that she is, she refuses. And, of course, she befriends a disgruntled jet technician, Jet Girl. Jet Girl's just fitting in, trying not to let her supervisor get in her greasy overalls, but she's about to fail at that goal when (*all guys cheer*) lesbian kiss!
Ok. Since I've laid it out in pure English with more sarcasm than Imus, I'm only going to ASSUME you're following me. Basically, Tank Girl steals a Tank and Jet Girl steals a jet, and they get away from W&P. But we're not done yet, gotta kill the bad guy. So the evil scientist takes a little girl that's a friend of Tank Girl's, holds her hostage while he waits for Tank Girl to come and save her.
Tank and Jet, ever out of their minds and cracking jokes, get the help of the Rippers, an army of half-kangaroo, half-man soldiers who all believe their someone reincaranted (one of them believes he was Jack Keorack, another believes he was a dog).
I'll be the first to admit that Tank Girl has absolute zero as far as redeeming value is concerned. But, you know what, I find that if I expect a drama each time I go to the theatre, I just get pissed off. So, you know what, I'm looking at Tank Girl as a comic book movie, as a sarcastic dark comedy. And, as far as those go, Tank Girl's an 88mm.
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