Clay Pigeons, starring Vince Vaughn and Joaquin Phoenix 2 stars out of 4
Nothing is more infuriating than a scriptwriter who is sloppy or lazy. Taking short cuts or devising preposterous or illogical contrivances merely to further a plot shows contempt for the viewer.
Such was the case with Armageddon in which the asteroid that threatened the Earth wasn't discovered until 18 days before the scheduled calamity.
And such is the case with Clay Pigeons, a murder-comedy that tries to mine the quirky field already claimed by the Coen Brothers in such works as Blood Simple and Fargo. Clay Pigeons, set in Montana, is the story of a not-to-bright, garage mechanic named Clay (Joaquin Phoenix) and his relationship with a good ole boy cowboy named Lester (Vince Vaughn).
What sets the story in motion, though, is the suicide of Clay's best friend, Earl. Clay and Earl are in the middle of nowhere drinking beers and using the bottles for target practice.
Earl takes Clay's handgun and threatens to use him as a bulls-eye because he knows that Clay and his wife are having an affair. Clay at first denies it, but is forced to confess after Earl reveals his wife had taunted him with the information.
Earl says he will get even not by killing Clay, but by committing suicide and making it look like murder, specifically one committed by Clay.
And how is he going to do this? Easy. He's going to shoot himself with Clay's gun.
Now, here's where the story falls apart. Didn't either of these bozos ever hear of fingerprints. Earl's are all over the gun. He's not wearing gloves. He's stupid, and Clay is just as dim-witted for not just running to the law and telling the easy-going, but sly sheriff (the veteran Scott Wilson) what has happened.
Instead, after Earl's self-inflicted demise, Clay runs to Earl's wife, Amanda (Georgina Cates), a self-absorbed, hedonistic, tramp, who refuses to aid Clay because she doesn't want it known all over town that she was cheating on her husband.
Not only that, she wants to continue the hot and heavy affair, but Clay no longer wants anything to do with her.
So, Clay makes Earl's death look accidential.
Later, at a bar, Clay meets Lester and the two strike up a friendship. Lester is duly impressed after Clay slaps Amanda in the bar.
Unbeknownst to Clay, Lester is a woman-hating serial killer being hunted by the FBI, and Lester is setting up Clay to take the fall for his crimes.
Of course, everything works out all right by the finale, despite the fact that bodies keep turning up in Clay's vicinity.
But the first five minutes of David Dobkin's film drags the rest of the proceedings down with it because of one silly script glitch that could have been corrected with a simple rewrite.
Phoenix is hunky, but dim as Clay. His character is merely a puppet being manipulated by events.
Vaughn, with his big smile and nervous giggle, makes a fine psychotic. Released before the remake of Psycho, Clay Pigeons could almost serve as Vaughn's screen test for his Norman Bates portrayal.
Jeanne Garafolo is a bity swarmy and condescending as the FBI agent tracking Vaughn. Her remarks and asides to the small-town sheriff and his deputy are meant to serve as the film's humor, but come off as mean-spirited instead.
None of the characters in Clay Pigeons are worth a hoot. You can't feel any compassion for Clay or his predicament because he is too dense, too self-absorbed to care about.
Only Wilson's sheriff offers a respite from the murderous proceedings. His reserve and small-town manners mask an active mind and a humanistic outlook that compensates a bit for the flotsam surrounding him.
Clay Pigeons is an interesting effort that a bit of script polishing could have saved.
Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, Ind. He can be reached by e-mail at bloom@journal-courier.com
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