There are certain rules in Hollywood involving the portrayal of romantic relationships on the big screen. Certain combinations of leads naturally go together handsome men and beautiful women being the predominant pairing. Lately, a trend has emerged involving cute young adult males and lovable teenage females (usually with shows on Fox or the WB) and, once in a while, moviegoers are treated to the unlikely affairs of rickety old men and chicks half their age. Stars are always fit, have great teeth, skin and hair, and are usually white.
Films that stray from these templates of success are generally resounding box office failures. Why? Because people won't line up for Number 18 with Hunan Foot, the touching story of a Chinese guy with a really large head who falls in love with a 70-year-old lady leper. They will also reject Mommy, I'm Taller Than Daddy, starring a middle-aged single mom with a huge raised birthmark on her face and her lucky find a midget with one eyebrow and a cowlick.
Howard Stern has made a career out of shining a spotlight on those aforementioned oddities. Until now, if you wanted to hear a drunk dwarf, paranoid stutterers or alien lesbians, Howard was the only place to go. Hollywood could only ignore his phenomenal ratings for so long.
So, along comes The Other Sister (* 1/2), a film that bills itself as `a romantic comedy for the emotionally challenged.' Translation a love story about two retards. They meet. They fall in love. The have a fight. They get back together. They get married. And they drive off with their car dragging a `Just Lobotomized!' sign. Okay, I made that last part up, but it would have been more original than anything in Sister's tiresome script.
The film opens with Carla (Juliette Lewis, Natural Born Killers) having just graduated from the Roselake, a school for mentally-challenged children. Carla flies home to San Francisco, where her father (Tom Skerritt) and overbearing mother (Diane Keaton) seem intent on keeping her at home under a watchful eye. They live in a giant house with a live-in maid and a gate, so one has to wonder why they didn't just lock her in the attic. Like the Kennedys.
But Carla has other plans. She wants to enroll in a public vocational school. Her parents say no but eventually give in. She wants her own apartment. Her parents say no but eventually give in. She wants a boyfriend. Her parents say no but hey! Are you tired of reading this yet? Try sitting through 130 minutes of it.
Lewis is remarkably unremarkable as Carla. But, then again, Carla isn't too far off of the roles that she usually plays. Her love interest Daniel (Giovanni Ribisi, Saving Private Ryan) is much better, but also not much different from his recurring role of Phoebe's brother on Friends. Actually, the only difference is fake teeth. Keaton's mother is purposefully and pleasantly annoying while Skerritt is just plan scary sans facial hair.
Sister was written and directed by Garry Marshall, who hit the big time with 70s television shows like Mork and Mindy and Laverne & Shirley. His resume as of late boasts the blockbusters Dear God and Exit to Eden. This is the first script he has written since 1984's The Flamingo Kid, proving that writing must not be like riding a bike. But, hey if you watch with your eyes closed, it sounds just like Howard.
2:10 R for adult situations and mild language
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