Cruel Intentions (1999)

reviewed by
Akiva Gottlieb


Cruel Intentions *1/2
rated R
starring Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Selma
Blair, Joshua Jackson
based on the novel "Les Liaisons Dangereuses" by Choderlos de Laclos
written and directed by Roger Kumble

Some movies, while not totally bad, just piss me off. Roger Kumble's lame excuse for a drama CRUEL INTENTIONS fits perfectly into this category. Loosely based on the famous novel "Les Liaisons Dangereuses", "Intentions" tells the story of Sebastian and Kathryn Valmont, two wealthy New York step-siblings who are the cause of lots of damage. Sebastian(Ryan Phillippe) has a reputation of promising women the world to get them in bed, and then dumping them. Kathryn(Sarah Michelle Gellar), equally evil but more inconspicuous, is also manipulative, in the way that she helps out with Sebastian's games. In the first of many plot contrivations, Kathryn bets her brother that he cannot devirginize Annette(Reese Witherspoon, Phillippe's real-life girlfriend), daughter of their new school headmaster and self-proclaimed virgin till marriage. If Kathryn wins, then she gets Sebastian's car, and if Sebastian wins, he gets to bed Kathryn, the one woman whom he supposedly can't have. Well, anyway, although Sebastian is cruel to the fullest sense of the word, Annette can't help but fall for him. I mean, damn, this guy is manipulative! From that point the film just spins way out of control, juggling a subplot featuring a teenager(Selma Blair) also getting involved in their schemes. The movie then goes for cheap melodrama and any cliche it can think of. None of the film's characters are at all real, and none of them make any decisions that a normal human would make. Although many sexual cliches are added in just so that teens will have a little fun, this film is another case where the trailer is more fun than the movie. I mean, with a cast like this, the producers did not need to make a good film in order to ensure that every teenager in the world will see it. But I wish they at least tried.

note-I attended the world premiere of this film and I have to say that:
Ryan Phillippe- Very nice.
Reese Witherspoon- Very nice.
Sarah Michelle Gellar- Snobby.
Fred Savage- Nice and down-to-earth.
David Schwimmer- Just plain mean.
Seth Green- Stoned.
Breckin Meyer- Cool
This premiere was a taste of fame for me, and I enjoyed being there, even if
the movie sucked. 
Review by The Teenage Movie Critic
akiva@excite.com
www.angelfire.com/mo/film


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