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Remember that FOX special a few months back - the one where their crack news crew got permission to bust into some ancient Egyptian tombs a la Geraldo Rivera's ill-fated Al Capone vault fiasco from the ‘80s? I had a bad feeling that it was either (a) staged, as FOX doesn't have the highest reputation for journalistic integrity, or (b) a very elaborate commercial for the remake of the 1932 Boris Karloff classic, The Mummy.
Although I don't think it was either (a) or (b) – it was too boring to be staged and the film comes from FOX rival Universal – the television special was still rather fascinating and will, no doubt, inadvertently help to fuel big box office numbers for the action-heavy/story-light $80-million horror picture.
Written and directed by Stephen Sommers (Deep Rising), The Mummy opens about 3000 years in the past, when some overly jealous Egyptian king catches his bride with Imhotep, the High Priest of Osiris (Arnold Vosloo, Zeus & Roxanne). Imhotep is buried alive with these nasty, flesh-eating beetles and his tomb is guarded for centuries and centuries because – get this – if he ever comes back to life, he will be a walking plague on Earth. Which may explain why he looks a lot like Billy Zane. Maybe they should have put a poster for The Phantom on the tomb entrance as well.
Flash forward to the early part of the 20th century, when French Legion soldier Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser, Blast From the Past) stumbles onto a map to Imhotep's evil crypt, but is eventually run off by its guardians. His interest is understandably piqued because of the legend that Imhotep was buried along with his vast treasures. Unfortunately for O'Connell, most people believe that it is, in fact, just a legend.
O'Connell is able to hook up with a wacky brother/sister team that agree to accompany him in his search for the lost sepulcher. Evelyn Carnarvon (Rachel Weisz, Chain Reaction) is a bumbling student of ancient Egypt and her brother Jonathan (John Hannah, Sliding Doors) is just eager to get his hands on some riches. Just to liven things up a bit, there is also a rival group of grave-robbers that simultaneously begin their trek with our heroes.
Now, here's the problem – you don't see the Mummy until about two-thirds of the way into the film. When he's on the screen, it's really cool, but then he turns back into the human Imhotep after about two minutes. Here's another problem – Fraser is too simian to carry a film. People were surprised at how good he was in Gods & Monsters, but it was just because he wasn't the star. George of the Jungle? His six-pack was the real star of that film. Blast From the Past was in and out of theaters in two weeks because he kept his shirt on (he does here, too).
The Mummy tries very hard to be like The Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's much closer to last year's corny bore, The Mask of Zorro. It is a beautiful film, thanks to cinematographer Adrian Biddle (The Butcher Boy), and also features some very funny supporting roles, including Kevin J. O'Connor (Peggy Sue Got Married) and Dr. Bombay from Bewitched. Although its trailer gives the indication that the Mummy's presence would be greater and that the film would offer non-stop special effects, it can boast only a weak story, a crappy romance and a running time that is forty minutes too long. (2:11 – PG-13 for violence and brief nudity)
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