TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1993 James Berardinelli
Date Released: 3/19/93 Running Length: 1:36 Rated: PG (Cartoon violence)
Starring: Elias Koteas, Paige Turco, Vivian Wu, Sab Shimono,
Stuart Wilson
Director: Stuart Gillard
Producers: Thomas K. Gray, Kim Dawson, and David Chan
Screenplay: Stuart Gillard
Music: John Du Prez
Released by New Line Cinema
In 1603 Japan, there is a war in progress between a great warlord (Sab Shimono) and a band of rebels led by a beautiful young woman (Vivian Wu). Through an odd series of events, a magical talisman of the warlord is activated, transporting April (Paige Turco), a resident of 1993 New York City, to feudal Japan. Following her disappearance, her four teenage mutant ninja turtle friends decide to go after her. Using the same talisman that transported April, the reptilian brothers cross through time and space to end up in the middle of the battle between the warlord and the rebels.
The TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movies are New Line Cinema's cash cow. Ever since the unexpected success of the generally-dreadful first film, the sequels have arrived at fairly regular intervals. Until one bombs at the box office, they will likely continue to appear. Since they aren't costly to make, it will require an extremely low turnout for any of these movies to run a deficit.
Quality obviously doesn't have anything to do with the appeal of the turtles. The first film was bad, the second worse, and the third almost unbearable. Children under the age of thirteen will probably enjoy the movies - they have the same appeal and intelligence level of the average Saturday morning cartoon - but any adults accompanying them to the theater will have to invent new and interesting ways to stay awake and interested. Not only is this movie aimed at young children, the script could have been written by them.
It isn't necessary for a children's film to insult and bore adults. Many of them do, but movies like Disney's ALADDIN manage to entertain people of all ages. Not so for TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III. The movie is supposed to be an offbeat adventure/comedy, but the action is dull and predictable, and the comedy, which consists of numerous hackneyed one-liners, is singularly monotonous.
There is a lot of cartoon-style violence in this film. In fight scene after fight scene, many of which involve guns and swords, people emerge relatively unscathed. Death doesn't seem to be a strong reality in the world of the mutant ninja turtles. Like in HOME ALONE 2 (and, to a lesser extent, the original HOME ALONE), men survive getting bashed over the head with heavy objects, beaten up, and shot at. Personally, I believe that when a movie uses violence, it should show the unpleasant consequences. In the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movies, we get an idealized, sanitized violence where no one really gets hurt.
The film will appeal to children. Marketing plays a big part in this, enticing boys and girls to go out and see the newest adventures of their favorite foursome. The PG rating lulls parents into believing that this is a wholesome family feature. What it turns out to be is too violent for younger viewers and unbearably tedious for older ones. Yet, despite being one of the worst films of the year, it will probably still make a tremendous amount of money and, as the unfortunate result, we will be subjected to TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES IV.
Rating: 3.0 (F+, *)
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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