The Happy Bastard's Quick Movie Review
Hudson Hawk
What could easily be the biggest blemish in Bruce Willis' movie career (next to The Bonfire of the Vanities and, well, most of his flicks in general), Hudson Hawk is a loopy little flick that, taken in the wrong context, is one of the worst movies ever made. If you rent Hudson Hawk and expect a serious, dynamo action flick in the sense of Die Hard, you will be extremely let down. However, if you watch it with a happy-go-lucky, could-give-a-damn-less attitude, like I usually do with movies (they're made for fun anyway), you might actually have a goofy old time.
Willis plays the Hawk, a slick burglar just getting out of jail after serving some time for a botched job. Immediately following his release, he and his partner Tommy Two Tone (Danny Aiello) land back in trouble with a mob led by the Mario brothers (Nintendo players may have figured that one out already). But the theft has unfolded a bigger conspiracy involving a power-hungry couple and several henchmen named after candy bars- not to mention a former CIA man leading them (played hilariously by James Coburn). It turns out a greater power awaits if Hawk can steal the right parts- the ability to create gold ala an old machine created by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Somewhere in this story, there's also a love interest for Hawk- a nun (played by Andie McDowell) who actually works for a sort of Vatican secret service (please don't ask). This leads up to a rather romantic request by Hawk later in the movie: "Will you play Nintendo with me?" (Yes, I'm kidding).
The movie is by no means a classic, as the story is so botched and filled with in-jokes that it couldn't even be considered seriously for a second. But it almost plays out like a Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker film, with plenty of intended (and somewhat unintended) laughs galore. Willis is pretty good as the smarmy Hawk, even if he is glorifying just a tad. Aiello and McDowell turn in decent performances, and Sandra Bernhard is a hoot as the power-hungry wife, complete with shifting attitude and face gesturing.
And some of the action is pretty likable as well. Take, for instance, the scene in the hotel with the botched firing of a bomb launcher. Or, perhaps, Hawk's battle with a butler who carefully unsheathes knives from his sleeves like a pro. Like I said, though, take it pretty much with a grain of salt or you'll be sorry.
Again, not classic material, and not up to everybody's taste in terms of, well, everything, but Hudson Hawk is a lot of fun if you simply allow it to be. If it's real gusto you're looking for, turn to Die Hard. If it's all-out goofiness you want, Hudson Hawk will suit you for a one-evening rental.
RATING: 6 (out of 10)
Robert Workman The Happy Bastard
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