JOHNNY MNEMONIC RATING: 2 / 10 --> So bad it's funny
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PLOT: Set in the future, a courier has uploaded some data into a "hard drive" that resides in his head, and must now escape the bad guys who are after that very important information. Since he overloaded his "hard drive", he's also racing against the clock before the information seeps into his brain and kills him.
CRITIQUE: Incoherent, boring, one-act drivel with no suspense, horribly unbelievable futuristic environment, bad dialogue, career-defining bad acting by Keanu Reeves and a hilarious ending. It's too bad because the premise of the film was interesting, but unfortunately for my friends and I, this movie turned out to be just as bad as everyone had warned us. It's one of those films that makes you start laughing half-way through, when you realize that most of the actors in it suck, the location shots are filmed in dark "junkyard" type areas which they would like to have us believe to be futuristic (whatever...), and all the sets look like....well, sets. There is also absolutely no arc to this story. It basically starts off with Keanu uploading info into his brain, and then a bunch of folks chasing him from place to place until a laughable ending puts a stop to the former uneventful proceedings. Gibson should stick to writing novels and "X-Files" episodes, since his segue into the paranormal TV series was much more entertaining than any of this garbage.
Some other hilarities of this film include Dolph Lundgren as some futuristic Jesus character whose supposed to kick ass, Henry Rollins as a pumped-up cyber-doctor or something, and Ice-T as some kind of a hobo dude with paint all over his face (Don't ask). The ending is the funniest with some robot dolphin and a stupid ghost-lady from inside the computer doing some stuff that no one really cares about by that point. I'm ashamed to say this film was shot in my hometown of Montreal, Canada, but sadly enough for us all, it was. Some of the cyber-travelling special effects were okay (Hence, the 2/10), but overall, it's one of those bad movies that's just funny to watch and cringe at. Thankfully for Keanu, he redeemed his sci-fi career with 1999's THE MATRIX (7.5/10). It's too bad that he has yet to redeem his lack of acting talent.
Little Known Facts about this film and its stars: As of 1999, director Robert Longo never directed another full-feature film. Hmmm...now isn't that odd? :) Writer William Gibson immigrated from the US to Canada in 1968, after being rejected for the draft. He lived in Toronto at first, but since 1972, has made Vancouver his home. His 1984 novel "Neuromancer" and its sequels 1986's "Count Zero" and 1988's "Mona Lisa Overdrive" are generally considered to be the definitive works of the "cyberpunk" science-fiction sub-genre. This film garnered Keanu Reeves a nomination in the "Worst Actor" category in the 1996 Razzie Awards.
Review Date: June 25, 1999
Director: Robert Longo
Writer: William Gibson (based on his short story)
Producer: Don Carmody
Actors: Keanu Reeves as Johnny Mnemonic
Dina Meyer as Jane
Genre: Science-Fiction
Year of Release: 1995
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(c) 1999 Berge Garabedian
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