BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER RATING: 5 / 10 --> Not a good movie
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PLOT: A dim-witted Valley-girl is chosen to be the most recent inductee into the centuries-long line of vampire slayers. Despite her initial skepticism, the girl eventually settles into her role of kicking bloodsucker ass, with the aid of a salty old mentor and a cute slacker boy.
CRITIQUE: Flat comedy/horror flick that barely scratches the level of mediocrity in either genre. Most of the jokes in this film were either recycled or uninspired, while the horror aspect appeared to be entirely underdeveloped. Kristy Swanson's breasts helped me ease through most of this film, as well as the cheesy acting by the man with the beach forehead, Luke Perry, but overall, it felt like a "good premise gone awry" at best. And even if camp were to have been this film's prime motivation, it met its mark but only slightly. That being said, I was never bored during the film (which only ran for about 85 minutes or so), but felt as though the vampire-slaying scenes could have been expanded further, as well as the bloodiness of the whole thing.
Too much time was spent on the high school aspect of the script, which was essentially a bunch of dumb-dumb kids talking over-written dialogue to one another. Like CLUELESS (7.5/10) but without the wit or entertainment value. Rutger Hauer was also the crappiest bad guy, using every single cliché in the book, including my all-time favorite, which consists of talking the ears of your nemesis, instead of killing them off quickly as you should. Needless to say, the final confrontation was a perfect example of an anti-climax, if I ever saw one. See it if you like the premise, Swanson's breasts, Perry's Caesar haircut, Affleck's two-second appearance, or Paul Reubens only other real part since Pee-Wee "I love porno" Herman, otherwise, return to your video store and rent a real fun vampire movie, like THE LOST BOYS (8/10).
Little Known Facts about this film and its stars: If you don't blink, you may just catch actor Ben Affleck playing an extra as a basketball player. Rutger Hauer was the actor upon whom Anne Rice based her famous vampire character Lestat. Rice had apparently hoped that Hauer would get to play Lestat in the film version of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (8/10), but by the time the movie was made, Hauer had passed the proper age by a decade or two. The role eventually went to Tom Cruise. Paul Reubens' real name is Paul Rubenfeld. Before Pee-Wee Herman, he was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps. This film spawned the successful television series of the same name, which has been running since 1997, with Sarah Michelle Gellar playing the part of Buffy. Director Fran Rubel Kuzui went on to direct...uuhm...well, as of 1999, nothing. Screenwriter, Joss Whedon, on the other hand, went on to write a piece of TOY STORY and all of ALIEN: RESURRECTION. He claims that the studio changed his BUFFY script, reportedly to make the movie funnier, and presumably less scary.
Review Date: July 12, 1999
Director: Fran Rubel Kuzui
Writer: Joss Whedon
Producers: Kaz Kuzui and Howard Rosenman
Actors: Kristy Swanson as Buffy
Luke Perry as Pike
Donald Sutherland as Merrick
Genre: Comedy/Horror
Year of Release: 1992
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(c) 1999 Berge Garabedian
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