SUPER MARIO BROTHERS
A review by Steve Baumgarten
(sbb@panix.com)
Kiddie films are doomed to be dismissed by us professional film critics almost regardless of how good they actually are. And because it's so easy to categorize a kiddie film as something that couldn't possibly be worth seeing -- regardless of what the critics say -- a vicious circle is set up: because you don't see it, you don't recommend it to your friends, who themselves haven't seen and recommended it to you. So I expect that no one but eleven-year-old boys will wind up seeing this summer's first big-budget kiddie film, SUPER MARIO BROS.
As it happens, I'm entirely undiscriminating when it comes to films that might, in some way, prove entertaining. After all, I"m a horror buff, and I've learned to sit through dozens of lousy horror films on the off-chance that one of them might prove worth watching. This is the "panning-for-gold" theory of movie-going, a technique responsible for the success of an appalling number of truly awful films. How otherwise can we understand the success of the obviously lousy film SLIVER, if not because people assume it will be just like BASIC INSTINCT and so probably worth taking a chance on? When it comes to Hollywood films, far too many of us are willing to take our chances, critics be damned.
Yet whereas most people are willing to take a chance on a film that's similar to one they've seen before, they're resolutely unwilling to consider one that doesn't seem "suitable." We want the "right" kind of action, violence, sex, and story lines, so while we warmly embrace insanely violent and graphic films like TOTAL RECALL and soft-core exploitation films like BASIC INSTINCT, we'd never go see a really good horror film. And while CLIFFHANGER opened to a $20+ million box office its first weekend, SUPER MARIO BROS. managed only $8 million, much of which I suspect was tendered in nickels and dimes from smashed piggy banks and horded allowances.
But the eleven-year-olds have the right idea -- sometimes it's best to be a little undiscriminating and take a chance on a movie that might prove entertaining in a thoroughly unpredictable way. As SUPER MARIO BROS. does, consistently, with good humor, intelligence and wit. It is as well-made, thoughtful, and respectful of its audience's intelligence as CLIFFHANGER and SLIVER are mechanically assembled and insulting -- and yet it is, first and foremost, a film for eleven-year-olds.
Quite a trick, and one rarely seen in the world of live-action kiddie films. But it's not as unusual as you might think: after all, it's only recently that Disney has been making (and, more important, marketing) their cartoons for an adult audience. Before THE LITTLE MERMAID, only animation fanatics suggested a trip to the cinema to see SLEEPING BEAUTY or DUMBO; yet today no adult would bat an eye at such a suggestion, and truth be told, most of us over the age of eleven await the next Disney cartoon almost as eagerly as those who still get carded at lemonade stands.
That no one but the Nintendo-set was eagerly awaiting SUPER MARIO BROS. made it all the more amazing to find that a silly, sloppy, poorly made kiddie film was nowhere to be found. In its place is a well-directed and -edited film, featuring a top-drawer score by Alan Silvestri; the best production design since BATMAN; enough special effects to keep any eleven-year-old's (or even thirty-year-old's) attention; and a truly goofy story line that's backed up with enough Bullwinkle-style humor to keep everyone smiling.
The story has little to do with the film's video game namesake; although the instantly recognizable name reportedly cost the filmmakers $2 million, it's obvious that the license was picked up purely for marketing reasons. The "Super Mario" name is enough of a hook to attract attention and draw in the film's target audience, but beyond that it doesn't play an important role in the film. (In fact, Bob Hoskins -- who plays Mario Mario -- claims not to have known what Super Mario Bros. was before one of his children pointed to a squat, mustachioed animated character jumping around on his television screen and exclaimed "Dad! That's you!".) It's probably just as well, given how limiting such a literal translation would be; instead, the filmmakers felt free enough to devise their own story, and to a great extent, their own world. And it's this that makes SUPER MARIO BROS. so successful and such a consistent joy to watch.
Let me run through a few of the things I liked a whole lot about this film. First and foremost, the storyline has a certain resonance for me. It starts with a short prologue and the tag line "Brooklyn -- 65 Million Years Ago"; in no time at all we've heard about the meteor that crashed to earth and caused it to split into two dimensions: one in which the dinosaurs became extinct and man eventually evolved to take their place as rulers of the world; and another where the dinosaurs themselves evolved into human-like form and run their own slightly off-kilter society. As a long-time resident of Brooklyn, I found this to be entirely plausible -- I personally don't understand why some critics found the storyline incomprehensible. It's all very well explained as the film goes along, and at the very least it's internally consistent -- once you buy the premise, everything makes sense. (Contrast this with a film like CLIFFHANGER, which has a premise only slightly more plausible, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense once things get going. At least once you've convinced yourself that there might in fact be a parallel dimension ruled by the descendants of dinosaurs -- and by Dennis Hopper in particular -- SUPER MARIO BROS. doesn't insult your intelligence. Even eleven-year-olds have their self-respect, though Sylvester Stallone may not.)
Hopper, who seems to be having an immense amount of fun in his role as King Koopa, the ruler of the alternate dimension, is bent on getting his claws on Princess Daisy and her magic amulet, which contains a piece of the meteor that originally caused the split. Once the meteor is made whole again, the dimensions will be rejoined and he'll be able to achieve his dream of total world domination. (And let me tell you: if he decides to start by running for New York City Council, he'll have no problem at all getting himself elected this year.) Standing between him and the culmination of his life-long dream is Bob Hoskins as Mario Mario and John Leguizamo as Luigi Mario, two small-time Brooklyn plumbers who -- just by the purest of coincidences, mind you -- get to know Daisy and then do what they can to save her when she's taken captive by Koopa's exceedingly silly henchmen.
There's plenty more plot in this film, but what surprised me is how the film itself only rarely got bogged down in the mechanical aspects of moving the plot forward. From beginning to end, this film flows very smoothly from one entirely implausible situation to the next, and it's rare that the filmmakers content themselves with a generic chase scene, filmed over a backdrop of generic pop music. Often the backdrops themselves are more diverting than the action in the foreground: from the alternate Brooklyn, which is obviously a fond take-off of BLADE RUNNER's Los Angeles; to Koopa's reelection posters (Koopa on the environment: "Don't worry -- we'll get more."); to the police cars involved in many of the film's chase scenes -- all powered by an overhead electric grid. It took me a while to realize that the police cars were little more than glorified bumper cars, straight out of an amusement park, and as such represented for eleven-year-olds the coolest possible design for police cars you could have in an alternate dimension. Small touches like this either make or break a film; putting aside SUPER MARIO BROS.' always striking production design (by David Snyder), it's obvious that the police cars could have been designed as little more than the kind of souped-up police cars you'd expect to see in any city, regardless of dimension. That someone sat down and thought about what kind of police car would be absolutely *right* for this city impresses me no end.
The film deftly avoids any serious violence; likewise, there aren't any cloying or maudlin scenes to suffer through. Both Hopper and Hoskins revel in their roles, and each manages to make what might have been an ordinary villain or hero into a truly memorable character (I particularly liked Hopper's attention to detail -- look carefully at how he holds his hands as he walks around to see clearly the influence of his great-grandfather the Tyranosaurus Rex). I found it heartening to see the very large number of alarmingly goofy touches scattered throughout the production, from the exceedingly small-headed security guards (the aptly named "Goombas") who chase the Mario brothers but aren't too mean-spirited to get all silly and start dancing when they hear the love theme from DR. ZHIVAGO; to Hopper's evolution / de-evolution machine that can turn people into Einsteins or balls of slime at the flick of a lever; to the mistakenly kidnapped Brooklyn girls who, confined as they are in a sub-basement, sit around, smoke, do their nails, and in every way act in perfect, stereotypical Brooklyn girl fashion; to Koopa's henchmen, who trade lines like "You tried five times and failed five times -- what percentage is that?"; to the street food of choice, salamanders-on-a-stick.
As a physical production, SUPER MARIO BROS. benefits greatly from Alan Silvestri's outstanding score -- something missing from all too many "adult" films these days; excellent 6-track Dolby sound design; and some of the best special effects I've seen in a while, including the much-maligned "morphing" process, which here isn't nearly as annoying and trite as I expected it to be. There's also the matter of Yossi, Koopa's pet dinosaur, which is rendered through a combination of stop- motion model, puppet, and computer-enhanced special effect well enough to satisfy the dinosaur-lover in all of us.
I can only think of one other kiddie film that had significant appeal for adults: Mike Hodges' FLASH GORDON, which also featured a striking production design, a fine score (by Queen), and a good amount of tongue-in-cheek action. But FLASH GORDON, fun as it was, played every scene for maximum irony; the genius of SUPER MARIO BROS. is in its ability to play everything straight -- on the surface. But it only takes a moment or two to realize how much intelligence and wit are backing up such a straight-faced production. As Mario Mario says to his brother Luigi: "Sure there were dinosaurs in Brooklyn. There were even Dodgers in Brooklyn."
I fully intend to see this film again; my feeling is that for every three sly references and witty asides I caught, there was probably one I missed. If you think any film with a name like SUPER MARIO BROS. is beneath your adult sensibilities, all I can say is that while when it comes to Hollywood films, it's usually "something ventured, nothing gained", in this case it's just the opposite. Much to my surprise, I found this film to be one of the most enjoyable I've seen all year, and I especially recommend it as an "antidote" to the predictable, intelligence-insulting, mean-spirited and overly violent CLIFFHANGER. If you must see that film, see it first, then see SUPER MARIO BROS.; you'll find that you enjoyed CLIFFHANGER a lot less in retrospect, but at least you'll have seen one thoughtful and finely crafted film out of two.
: Steve Baumgarten : sbb@panix.com
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