THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR Reviewed by Jamie Peck
Rating: ** (out of ****) Columbia / 1:45 / 1999 / R Cast: Craig Bierko; Gretchen Mol; Armin Mueller-Stahl; Vincent D'Onofrio; Dennis Haysbert Director: Josef Rusnak Screenplay: Josef Rusnak; Ravel Centeno-Rodriguez
Take a trip to "The Thirteenth Floor" and enter an empty room with a fantastic view. The see-worthy sights are courtesy of this sci-fi thriller's dazzling recreation of the glitz and glamour of 1930s Los Angeles, but even opulent backdrops like elegant nightclubs and posh hotel lobbies can't make up for a lack of soul or any real suspense. And those are the least of its problems - another one of those alternate-plane-of-reality flicks, "Thirteenth" reeks of beamed-there, theorized-that coming so fast on the heels of like genre fare including the hit "The Matrix," David Cronenberg's artsy "eXistenZ" and the Spanish import "Open Your Eyes."
Moviegoers may be closing their eyes and dozing off after such an interesting prologue sequence pulls them from the aforementioned setting to a futuristic-looking but contemporary version of the same metropolis, where the film makes its familiar agenda quite clear. Apparently, a group of '90s programmers (Craig Bierko, Vincent D'Onofrio and Armin Mueller-Stahl) have been fiddling around with a computer simulation of Jazz Age L.A. Mueller-Stahl ("Shine"), the project leader, gets wind of a major bombshell regarding the experiment but is killed before he can pass the information along to lackeys Bierko ("Sour Grapes"), the straight-arrow, and D'Onofrio ("The Newton Boys"), the wild-card.
Thanks to evidence stacked against him, Bierko becomes suspected of the murder and frantically searches for clues to prove otherwise using the time-travel contraption. This intrigue coincides with yet another - the sudden appearance of the deceased's globe-trotting daughter ("Rounders"' Gretchen Mol). She shows up to claim her old man's business and property upon learning of his demise, demonstrating that this is the kind of movie where characters gasp lines akin to "He never mentioned a daughter!" Matters begin to grow confusing here, what with all of the trips between surrogate L.A.s and each of the main acting quartet playing two versions - if not eventually more - of his or her initial role.
Still, "The Thirteenth Floor"'s collision of past and present is no less perplexing than "The Matrix," a similar techno-mystery it faces inevitable comparisons to. In fact, people not among "The Matrix"'s mass of avid supporters - this critic included - might note how "Thirteenth" offers grander scenic dazzle, a tighter edit and nil in the way of mumbo-jumbo regarding Chosen Ones or Oracles. But at least that movie packed in some taut kinetic thrills. "Thirteenth"'s idea of sensory explosion is to throw Bierko and Moll, both fine in past work but not cast to their strengths here, late passionate professions that don't rate the slightest pulse.
>From this unlikely coupling on, it's all downhill - as in runaway and unrecoverable. Already stopped dead in its tracks by a superfluous romance, "The Thirteenth Floor" proceeds with a denouement and climax so sudden, wrong and noodle-headed that they'll polish off whatever mild interest - and patience - remains in most viewers. The finale, an unequivocal high point in "The Matrix," sputters with absurdity, predictability, plot holes and a confrontation worthy of a "Fatal Attraction"-esque potboiler. Even those who thus far have enjoyed themselves need to heed this advisory: Exit "The Thirteenth Floor" a few floors early.
© 1999 Jamie Peck E-mail: jpeck1@gl.umbc.edu Visit The Reel Deal Online: http://www.gl.umbc.edu/~jpeck1/ "Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. ‘Armageddon' is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out." -Roger Ebert on "Armageddon"
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