Inspector Gadget * out of ****
Some movies I should just skip. My daughter and I had a really vile time at My Favorite Martian a few weeks back, and here comes another Disney effects-filled live-action flick based on an old TV program. True, the probgram is only 15 years old this time, and it's a cartoon. But it's a cartoon I liked, and I was understandably reluctant to see what Disney had done to it on the big screen. But my daughter really wanted to go, and how bad could it be?
Turns out I was right, mostly. Inspector Gadget, oddly enough, follows almost exactly the same format as My Favorite Martian, down to the jive-talking side-kick. At first I thought it was done by the same people, but IMDB informs me that IG was directed by David Kellogg and written by Dana Olsen and Kerry Ehrin, where MFM was directed by Donald Petrie and written by Sherri Stoner and Deanna Oliver.
This odd similarity between the two movies may best be explained by the studio that produced it, where "formula" isn't just business, it's a way of life. The producers who obviously micromanaged the two projects should get prominant screen credits. In some parts you can just hear them saying "more zany! I want more zany here -- and -- here." "Let's have a really painful sexual reference for no reason right here -- make it really painful. I want the audience squirming in their seats." "Ok, that's fine, but I want you to add bug guts." "What does this scene do? Character depth? But where's the zaniness? I DON'T see ZANY here. If you can't make it zany, cut it!"
The latter is the only explanation I can come up with for the absence of the thoroughly charming Michelle Trachtenberg for most of the movie. Michelle (who plays Penny, Gadget's niece) shines in every scene she's in, but unfortunately she only gets about nine minutes of screen time. My guess is that the rest is on the cutting room floor.
Dabney Coleman's comedic talents are utterly wasted as Chief Quimby. I kept expecting him to say or do something really funny and somehow save the film, but instead, he does the best he can with some really poor lines in a few unexceptional scenes. He is thoroughly upstaged by Cheri Oteri as the "gidget bitch from hell" town Mayor. Oteri's overly enthusiastic and continually self-congratulatory speech patterns and mannerisms were so much like Portland, Oregon's own manic mayor Vera Katz that I had to wonder if the studio wasn't poking fun at our fair town. Or, maybe all career politicians are like that.
I must say, Matthew Broderick does not stroll through Inspector Gadget as he did Godzilla. He appears to have some fun with the film, especially as the evil Gadget. Rupert Everett is entertaining as the maniacle Claw.
Joely Fisher does fine as the zany scientist and even better as the zany carbon copy of herself. Her performance is one of the few things worth watching in the film.
D.L. Hughley plays the shuckin'-and-jivin' vehicular side-kick, in a role that firmly sets Emancipation back 20 years.
The dialog is... let's face it, it's pretty bad. The tag-line after a major set-piece battle is a faux pas that makes no sense in context. A lot of the lines (especially Hughley's) appear to be made up as they go along, by people with little gift for ad-lib.
About three-quarters of the film is a somewhat unnecessary origin story for both Gadget and Claw. Gadget then spends the latter third of the movie trying to locate Claw and having various altercations (not really "battles") with the evil Gadget. Penny does about a minute and a half of the detective work her character did every week in the cartoon.
Let me rage here just for a minute. Michelle Trachtenberg was an excellent choice for the Penny character. She's utterly charming, and has excellent experience (Harriet the Spy) for the part of the pint-size detective. Why she is so underutilized in this film is a real mystery. The film loses a star for casting brilliance coupled with scripting (or editing) stupidity.
Inspector Gadget is missing the long, long stretches of potty humor that (among other things) made My Favorite Martian so unbearable, but it's a very short movie, so perhaps something was cut at the last moment.
Probably the best scenes in the film occur during the end credits. The "evil sidekick support group" is especially worth seeing, and has an amazing number of cameo appearances for the few seconds it's onscreen.
All in all, another bad live action film from the premere studio for bad live action films. I wonder if Disney uses the revenues for it's generally money-making cartoons to produce these losers. But if true, why? If they're trying for another Mary Poppins, they need to find a team that can produce one, and then give them a chance to do it.
Ron
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