TEACHING MRS. TINGLE A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): **
Will they kill her, or won't they? Is she dead, or isn't she? These are some of the stock horror movie questions that writer and director Kevin Williamson, the writer of the SCREAM series, poses in the black comedy KILLING MRS. TINGLE. Oops, I mean TEACHING MRS. TINGLE. The original title about the killing of a teacher by her high school students didn't seem like a wise marketing choice after the real-life Colorado tragedy.
Tamed down to the PG-13 level, the predictable movie pulls its punches whenever possible. Just when a horrible deed is about to be done, for example, the perpetrators observe the intended victim's spouse reading the bible. This bit of piety causes reflection and possibly a change in course.
Managing to shine in the mediocre movie, Helen Mirren ("Prime Suspect"), as Mrs. Tingle, delivers one of those hard-edged performances that she can do so well. Although her characters usually have sympathetic sides, Mrs. Tingle, as her students and fellow teachers agree, is a classic bitch.
Walking down the school hall in her proper, tight-fitting black suit, Mrs. Tingle parts students like Moses did with the Red Sea. Even the principal is scared stiff of her. With perky confidence, she wishes him a happy birthday, "happy AA birthday" that is. He had a drinking problem that she will forever use against him. In fact she loves nothing better than playing mind games with everyone, especially her students.
Full of sarcasm, she loves putting students in their place by reminding them how unsuccessful their parents were. "He too had the words 'no future' painted on his forehead," she tells Luke Churner (Barry Watson) about his father, whom she had taught.
She enjoys letting her students perform and make fools of themselves in class so that she can ridicule them. "Ask not what your mistress can do for you, but what your mistress can do for the country," a would-be starlet named Jo Lynn (Marisa Coughlan) does in a bad Marilyn Monroe routine. Needless to say, Mrs. Tingle annihilates her.
Straight-arrow honor student Leigh Ann Watson (Katie Holmes) is one point shy of beating out a rich kid for class valedictorian. Unless she can be top in her class, Leigh Ann will not be able to get the scholarship she needs to go to college. And unless she aces Mrs. Tingle's class, she has no hope of being anything other than second best.
When Leigh Ann accidentally ends up with a copy of Mrs. Tingle's upcoming test and is discovered, Mrs. Tingle vows to wreck the girl's academic record. Through a series of misadventures, three teens -- Leigh Ann, Luke and Jo Lynn -- end up holding Mrs. Tingle hostage in her own home. Tied to her bed, she begins to play mind games with the three, whose collective IQs seem to be vastly inferior to hers.
Mirren acts circles around the younger actors, who appear as confused and disoriented as their characters. The movie needs better-matched opponents as well as sharper writing and less obvious directing. When Jo Lynn, who thinks she's Hollywood bound, tries to pull the wool over Mrs. Tingle's eyes with a dramatic sob routine, Mrs. Tingle just glares at her. "My poor dear, I hope you're a good waitress" is all she responds.
The teens throw childish temper tantrums. "Bored, bored, bored, I can't believe you don't have TV," Jo Lynn complains while holding Mrs. Tingle hostage. "It's like not having toilet paper."
So does TEACHING MRS. TINGLE contain any surprises? Maybe one. The weapon of choice is not a gun but a medieval crossbow. There, I've done it. I just told you the only unexpected thing in the entire movie. Now, you have no reason at all to see it. Enjoy the time I just saved you.
TEACHING MRS. TINGLE runs about 1:30. It is rated PG-13 for thematic content, violence, sexuality, language and some teen drinking and would be acceptable for teenagers.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
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