TEACHING MRS. TINGLE Reviewed by Jamie Peck
Rating: ** (out of four) Dimension / 1:35 / 1999 / PG-13 (language, thematic material, muted sex)
Cast: Katie Holmes; Helen Mirren; Barry Watson; Marisa Coughlan; Jeffrey Tambor; Michael McKean; Lesley Anne Warren; Molly Ringwald; Vivica A. Fox Director: Kevin Williamson Screenplay: Kevin Williamson
One exits "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" wishing horror scribe extraordinaire Kevin Williamson had been taught a few more lessons before being set loose on his own. Sure, the guy knows his genre well, as evidenced by his fun screenplays for boo-machines from "I Know What You Did Last Summer" to "The Faculty." And no doubt he learned the tricks of the trade during his two "Scream" collaborations with suspense maestro Wes Craven. But for some reason, tangled "Tingle" - Williamson's debut wearing both screenwriting and directing hats - doesn't find the wunderkind at the top of his game.
Maybe it's the story, which exchanges the subversive humor, staggering body counts and spiffy plot twists synonymous with Williamson projects past for 90 minutes of talky, tawdry psychological warfare between four people - a trio of high school students and the meanest history teacher to ever grade papers. As the terrible Mrs. Tingle (the latter, in case you're wondering), great British actress Helen Mirren comes off like Margaret Hamilton in librarian ensembles and would feel right at home alongside the evil educators in "The Faculty." For finer Williamson, rent that 1998 sci-fi lark and skip this messy melodrama.
Tingle catches straight-A senior Leigh Ann ("Dawson's Creek"'s Katie Holmes) with a crib sheet she was only holding for her boozer boyfriend-wannabe (Barry Watson) and decides to report them to the principal - just days before graduation. What's a distressed missy with valedictorian potential to do? Why, traipse across the neighborhood to Mrs. Tingle's residence with a third pal/witness (Marisa Coughlan) and plead her case in person, of course. And if, upon arrival, a struggle erupts and Tingle ends up tied to her bed? Well, this kind of problem-solving they didn't cover in fifth period.
Never explored: How Tingle retains her Mrs. status when no husband is in sight and she's carrying on with the football coach (funny Jeffrey Tambor, around to enliven the movie's midsection). Or if woodworking is among the talents of one character, who breaks and then must reassemble a headboard so that a later scene can occur. Or from where a strangely sudden sex romp between Holmes and Watson comes. This kind of disturbing behavior is expected from a hormonally-charged "Creek" gal, but he - a regular on the WB's inspirational "7th Heaven" - should know better.
Mirren adds chilly class to "Teaching," then gets shortchanged when her Tingle goes full-tilt psycho for a bone-smashing, crossbow-chucking climax. Holmes surrenders to similar circumstances, introduced in the movie as a rational straight-arrow and finishing on a level of dementia equivalent to that of her adversary. By the time the final image flickers across the screen, ask yourself two highly problematic questions: Does a key line of dialogue negate the fact that these kids committed a vast array of imprisonable offenses? And does the film really suggest they deserve what they get?
"Teaching Mrs. Tingle" might keep you interested to see how Holmes and posse escape from the corner they paint themselves in, but it's soon apparent that a similar fate has befallen Williamson. However, since his treatment for the eagerly-awaited "Scream 3" is currently finalizing principle photography and slated for a December release, we'll cut him a bit of slack for this dishonor-roll flick: detention instead of expulsion.
© 1999 Jamie Peck E-mail: jpeck1@gl.umbc.edu | darth_fluff@yahoo.com Hey! You! Visit The Reel Deal Online: http://www.gl.umbc.edu/~jpeck1/ "The best possible argument for including [a shot of Bruce] Willis' genitals would have been that the movie, after all, contains everything else." -Roger Ebert on "Color of Night"
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