If science can make sharks super-intelligent, why can't it do the same for screenwriters?
That's the question posed by "Deep Blue Sea," a thriller set in an undersea lab where medical researcher Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) and her crew are being hunted by predators of their own creation. The essentials of the storyline are best summed up by McAlester's hypertense co-worker Tom (Michael Rapaport): "She screwed with the sharks, and now the sharks are screwin' with us!".
Directed by Renny Harlin, the man who gave us "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" and "Cliffhanger" when he was at his peak and the infamous "Cutthroat Island" at his nadir, "Sea" is essentially a series of explosions and crises, occasionally interrupted by stern warnings about the consequences of fooling around with Mother Nature. The movie is so poorly written it's almost laughable, but it does provide a few genuine jolts, which is more than can be said for most of the current crop of horror films.
"Sea" begins with McAlester inviting financier Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson) to her base of operations, in hope of convincing him not to cut off funding for her quest to find a cure for Alzheimer's Disease. She and her staff have been using "hormonal enhancers" to tinker with the brains of a trio of sharks at their Aquatica compound and McAlester is certain a breakthrough is just around the corner.
Unfortunately, so is a typhoon, which devestates Aquatica and nearly kills everyone in it. Soon the hallways are flooded, the escape routes are impassable and the humans are turning into snacks for their toothy pet monsters.
"These sharks aren't just breaking down doors for the fun of it," Franklin realizes. "They're after us!" Most of the major lines in "Sea" are followed by exclaimation points; the rest of the insipid dialogue by first-time writers Duncan Kennedy, Wayne Powers and Donna Powers is either mumbled or drowned out by the thousands of gallons of water that wash over the cast at regular intervals.
Among those struggling to survive alongside Franklin and McAlester are daredevil Carter Blake (Thomas Jane), simpering Janice (Jacqueline McKenzie) and a Gospel-spouting cook nicknamed Preach (LL Cool J), whose sidekick is a profane parrot -- really. None of the actors is required to do much more than shriek, swim or scramble to get out of the scene as quickly as possible. Those who like to see dismemberment up close will be delighted by Harlin's insistance that we get a look at every severed arm and leg in full, bloody detail.
The attacks -- at least one of which is a real surprise -- are generally exciting, although someone should have informed the authors that just because a shark may have increased his brain size does not necessarily mean he'll know how to turn on an oven, as one does here in the movie's most ludicrous sequence. For a movie about the advancement of knowledge, "Sea" is often flabbergastingly dumb. James Sanford
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