"Halloween: H20" is the seventh in the endless "Halloween" series and, although it is superior to the last few sequels, it is also surprisingly bland, unscary, emotionally defunct, and unrewarding.
"Halloween H20" finally brings back Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, who last fought and screamed her way through Michael Myers' path at the end of "Halloween II." Now it's twenty years later, and guess what day it is. Laurie is now twenty years older and has been in hiding as Keri Tate, the headmistress of a prestigious private high school where her son attends! Keri is still having nightmares about Myers, drinks Vodka by the gallon, and confides in her love interest, a psychiatrist (Adam Arkin of "Chicago Hope"), about her hellish past. But, what do you know, Michael has tracked her down, courtesy of a nurse who knew Laurie from the old days in an uninventive opening sequence.
"Halloween H20" is fun for a short while, and it is a pleasure to see Janet Leigh in a largely brief cameo as Norma (!) who provides a maternal shoulder for Laurie (sorry, Keri) and drives the same sedan she drove in "Psycho" - it's a post-modernist "Scream" twist and the only witty idea in the entire movie. But instead of creating a scenario of suspense where Keri tries to fend off not only Michael but her own personal demons, the movie opts for blood-soaked, stupid thrills by having some emaciated, hormonal teens go through the clichéd motions of your average slasher flick. The kids say, "Who's there?", and the incompetent direction by Steve Miner ("Friday the 13th Part 2") allows us to see Michael in the shadows too soon before he walks up to the victims and...well, you get the idea. Let's not kid ourselves: the two "Scream" movies and the original "Halloween" went through the same motions but with, oh so much more atmosphere, finesse, suspense and humor.
There are two tense sequences that stand out: one involves an anonymous mother and her daughter at a rural rest stop where Michael lurks behind bathroom walls; and the coup de resistance moment where Michael and Laurie finally meet face to face through a window. It's a moment of pure shock and horror, exactly what should have been there throughout the whole movie.
Beyond that, "Halloween H20" has no real scares, surprises or suspense, but it does have the enormous dignity of Jamie Lee Curtis. Her scenes with her teenage son and with Arkin are pleasurable to watch and a bit of a novelty in a disreputable genre. Curtis brings pathos, tears and toughness to her role that Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love-Hewitt will never quite muster. She almost singlehandedly saves this mediocre, run-of-the-mill sequel.
Footnote for the curious: The post-"Halloween" movies and rip-offs offered the idea that a virginal teenager had a better chance of surviving a killer's throes than those who had unruly sex. Laurie Strode was virginal in the first two "Halloweens'" but now she has a son through the miracle of...sexual intercourse. Is Laurie's son the reason Michael Myers is after her?
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