Steel (PG-13) * Starring Shaquille O'Neal, Annabeth Gish Directed by Kenneth Johnson A Review by Frankie Paiva
Ah, the family classic Kazaam, starring that ever popular Shaquille O'Neal, once a big basketball star. Space Jam was a hit with Michael Jordan, why not have other players act? That ever popular movie about Shaq being a genie in a bottle made $18 million, and it's time to do a sequel.
(NOTE ON ABOVE PARAGRAPH: Anyone reading the above paragraph and thought that I was actually serious should seek medical help immediately by going to www.shrink.com)
How many times does it take those dumb studio executives to figure out that something doesn't work? If O'Neal's movie premiere, Kazaam, which made the Internet Movie Database's Top 10 Worst Films of the 90s than why make another movie starring this tall basketball hero? What is an extremely poor rehash (it almost gets the same treatment that this summer's other comic book to screen dissapointment Spawn got) of a great old comic book, turns into a violent, cheesy, and inane chase through a city of bad guys.
The evil Nathaniel Burke (Judd Nelson) purposefully shoots fellow officer Susan Sparks (Gish) with an overpowered weapon right in front of John Henry Irons (O'Neal, his name is Henry Irons and Steel, get it?) on the testing field. He's some type of psychotic maniac and plans to reek hell on the world by letting everyone feel his pain. When Susan becomes confined to a wheelchair, John helps her on her road to recovery.
But all is not well, Burke has decided to sell the powerful weapons on the black market and hires unknowingly naive young African-Americans to sell them for him. But, (and I hope your sitting down) my god, he's captured John's baby brother! This prompts him to turn into a superhuman metal man with a cool suit and plenty of interesting gadgets.
An action film easily more forgettable than Batman & Robin. At least Batman had some flashly effects and cool scenes. This film is filled with countless scenes that are so bad, it almost appears as if some of the actors are holding back their laughter. Another thing that makes it bad is the fact that we a supposed to actually care for all of these characters when they are placed into danger, even though we know that they cannot possibly die because this is a run-of-the mill action flick. This is another film to see if you enjoy inflicting pain on yourself, and I give it * star.
The Young-Uns: This film contains lots of violence and showcases it as a way of solving problems, it glorifies this is many ways. However, it's not as nearly as violent as many other action films your child's already seen. Good Age: 11-12
ADDITIONAL NOTE: This film also made the Internet Movie Database's Top 10 Worst Films of the 90s.
A Review by Frankie Paiva The 12 Year-Old Movie Reviewer E-Mail me at SwpStke@aol.com
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