Stigmata (1999) Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Patrick Muldoon, Portia de Rossi, Rade Sherbedgia. Music by Billy Corgan, Elia Cmiral, Mike Garson. Screenplay by Tom Lazarus, Rick Ramage. Directed by Rupert Wainwright. 102 minutes. Rated R, 1.5 stars (out of five stars)
Review by Ed Johnson-Ott, NUVO Newsweekly www.nuvo-online.com Archive reviews at http://us.imdb.com/M/reviews_by?Edward+Johnson-ott To receive reviews by e-mail at no charge, send subscription requests to pbbp24a@prodigy.com
Imagine a reverse spin on "The Exorcist," all trussed up with MTV-style graphics, and you'll have a fair idea of what to expect from "Stigmata," an overwrought horror story burdened by sluggish pacing, a lame screenplay with a distinct lack of internal logic and an insufferable soundtrack. Despite its laundry list of flaws, I still got caught up in the story, which appeared to be building towards a climax that would make some profound statement, only to watch the film deflate like a cheap air mattress with a faulty stem. For all its posturing, "Stigmata" is much bloody ado about nothing.
It begins in a tiny village, where Father Andrew Kiernan (Gabriel Byrne) investigates reports of a religious statue that bleeds profusely. Father Kiernan, who travels the world serving as a sort-of miracle cop for the Vatican, remains remarkably subdued even when the statue weeps bloody tears. When the phenomena reoccurs, accompanied by birds flying through the church and great bursts of wind blowing out the chapel candles, which spontaneously re-ignite around 30 seconds later, the padre is suitably impressed and reports his findings to the big boys in Rome. His boss, the creepy Cardinal Houseman (Jonathan Pryce), merely glowers and instructs him to pack up the statue and have it sent to the church labs for study.
Cut to Pittsburgh, where hairdresser Frankie Paige (Patricia Arquette) has her own set of troubles. After her mother sends her a rosary stolen from the body of the priest from the aforementioned church, Frankie experiences bizarre attacks where she spontaneously bleeds from her hands, head or feet. Not only are the occurrences terrifying and painful, but the red clashes with her trendy outfits. Doctors can't determine why this is happening, frustrating the hip young atheist even more. To make matters worse, Frankie's boyfriend Steven (Patrick Muldoon) begins to distance himself from her and even her girlfriends Donna (Nia Long) and Jennifer (Portia de Rossi) start looking at her as if she was Linda Blair.
Enter Father Kiernan, who explains the situation to Frankie. Stigmata is the appearance of wounds on a body in the five exact places where the crucified Christ was pierced. Those who experience stigmata are deeply religious people, like Saint Francis of Assisi, who lost a pint a day, according to the Father. He fears for Frankie, because no one except her has ever displayed more than two of the wounds at the same time. If she simultaneously shows all five, the result may be death.
A number of questions arise at this point. Even with magic rosary beads, why is an atheist experiencing a phenomena that affects only the extremely faithful? Why do those who witness this full-fledged miracle react solely with horror instead of wonder? Where are the cops and the media when Frankie runs into the street and causes a series of car wrecks? Why are her attacks scored with annoying music from Smashing Pumpkins leader Billy Corgan? How does a hairdresser afford the largest apartment in Pittsburgh? And what the hell is an actor of Gabriel Byrne's caliber doing in a cheesy movie like this?
The prime subplot of "Stigmata" is far more interesting than all the "Exorcist" histrionics, but it turns out to be both anticlimactic and illogical. (SPOILER ALERT: the following reveals significant plot points) Cardinal Houseman and his cohorts strive to stifle Father Kiernan's investigation. It seems that there exists another gospel, written by Christ himself. Certain Catholics, including the late priest from the little church, were close to revealing the writings and the Vatican baddies fear that Christ's message would destroy their lucrative organization.
While intriguing, the subplot has two big problems. First, an elderly priest (Rade Serbedgia) who specializes in translations repeatedly states that the first-hand gospel has been lost forever, even though he holds sharp photographs of the scriptures in his hand. Second, when we finally hear the legendary message, it turns out to be a benign truism that most of us learned on the first day of Bible school. Is this simple message a threat to the very existence of the Catholic Church? I don't think so (END SPOILERS).
So we are left with a lurid horror show, edited in quick-cut MTV style and surrounded by quasi-alternative music. One of the reasons "The Sixth Sense" worked is because the filmmakers understood that the extraordinary is most effectively presented in a low-key fashion. "Stigmata" takes miracles and turns them into grandiose music videos, and while a few moments are genuinely disturbing, the bulk of the film plays like a big, dumb trip through an ecclesiastical spook house.
© 1999 Ed Johnson-Ott
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