I Woke Up Early the Day I Died
I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
Rating: * out of * * * *
Starring: Billy Zane, Christina Ricci, Sandra Bernhard, Tippi Hendred, Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Nicollette Sheridan, Steven Weber, Ann Magnuson, John Ritter, Rick Schroder, Will Patton, Ron Perlman and many more. Unrated contains violence and brief nudity.
Opens September 10, 1999 in NY.
There have been bad films in recent years: 'Mr. Magoo' was by far the worst ever made, the spectacularly bad 'Blue In The Face', the horrible 'Baby Genuises' and now 'I Woke Up Early The Day I Died'. It may not however be the worst movie made but it certainly ranks as one bad movie. The film's acting (if that's what you want to call it) is well mediocre to me. Loaded with a sensational cast you would think that the cast would at least save the film a bit, boy was I wrong.
After escaping from a mental institution 'The Thief' played by Billy Zane goes out in the real world and finds that it is pretty harsh and gritty. He turns to burglary to survive, robs a loan back, kills the loan officer and runs with thousands. A country-wide man hunt is on for him to catch him and bring him down. He ends up in a cemetery where he puts his money in a coffin to keep it for later, comes back and realizes that someone took it and put it somewhere. Now he is determined to kill all the visitors at the funeral earlier that day until he gets his money back, ultimately leading to a finale that is less that satisfying.
A film which was based on a 'long-lost' script by Ed Wood, I have only one question: No dialogue, only music and movement where exactly is the point? The film moves along at a rather slow pace, but does have one advantage: the soundtrack which is catchy and vibrant except the first song which can be offensive to some. It opens with a fun, innovative opening credits sequence and quickly goes downhill after that.
Some of the low points are when 'The Thief' steals a woman's purse, and then she faints, Sandra Bernhard as a dancer and Tippi Hendren as a deaf woman whom 'The Thief' kills to the music of 'Psycho'. Come on people get some new ideas already! What's even worse is that the film has no plot at all. Well to a certain extent it does, but who cares by the time the middle of the film arrives we're bored out of our mind and ready for something fun and exciting to happen.
'I Woke Up Early The Day I Died' is a perfectly bad film. It shows us how low filmmakers get sometimes just when desperate to make a movie. Even with the huge cast talent, the film is a waste of my time and certainly a waste of yours.
Reviewed September 9, 1999 by Brandon Herring
Movie Review Heaven (http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/movie/3160/moviereviewheaven.html
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